DS Fights sleep...Ideas????

**Spring Angel** · February 2nd, 2008, 06:15 PM

Thanks for the hugs Trish, sounds like after 45mins you could probably do with one also

I'm going to call the help-line tomorrow so I'll let you know any suggestions.

Em: thanks for the tips on the lights. DS loves lights so perhpas that is a better idea because it turns off as opposed to hanging over the cot all night.

Well something very interesting happened. DS started cracking it in his cot and I was in the middle of cutting onions so I had to rush to the bathroom to wash my hands before going in to him. By the time I got there he was sound asleep. From cracking it to sound asleep in about 1 minute.

I have never done that before, usually DH or I are in there quicksmart. It don't want to CC him but perhaps leaving him for a minute might be all he needs.

It is all so confusing isn't it?

Spring

**Spring Angel** · February 2nd, 2008, 06:18 PM

Snacks, I think you might be on to something. He seems to cry more in my arms. He likes to me tightly swaddled and I pat his belly and stroke his hair to soothe him but that is once the 'fight' is over.

If I put him in his cot and stay with him patting his belly and stroking his hair but don't pick him up, is that still a form of control crying? I figure he crys in my arms anyway and he just seems so darn uncomfortable.

**melham74** · February 2nd, 2008, 06:21 PM

We have also got the light show, but DS wont go to sleep in the cot, I lay with him in my bed then move him into the cot, he sometimes stirs not long after and I switch the music and lightshow on he he goes back to sllep no problems, is just that getting him to sleep to start with that causes the problems

**Spring Angel** · February 2nd, 2008, 06:22 PM

Melham74: Where did you get your light show from and how much did it set you back?

**melham74** · February 2nd, 2008, 06:25 PM

I got a winnie the pooh one in Toy world $29.95 is remote controlled and has a 5 or 15min timer you can use just the light, music or both has volume control tooo.

**Spring Angel** · February 2nd, 2008, 06:27 PM

For 30 bucks it sounds like it is worth a try. thanks for the tip.

**Willow** · February 2nd, 2008, 06:28 PM

Spring, I'm not a fan of controlled crying either and have never done it in strict terms with either of my kids. But have they cried? Yes, of course! That's the only way they know how to communicate when they are little and upset. As long as you are there to comfort him and he knows you are there, you aren't cc'ing. Leaving him to cry for one minute before you can get to him is not going to do him any harm hun.

Also, I wouldn't drop a day sleep. Then you'll end up with an overtired bub who is even harder to settle. They say that sleep breeds sleep. I find with DS that he is hardest to settle at 'bed time' ie after a bath when I put him down for the night.

Man, this thread has made me feel soooo much better - I'm not the only one going through this! Sorry girls, not taking enjoyment in your pain LOL, but it helps to know you're not alone. I'll never understand why human beings aren't born KNOWING how to sleep...it defies all reasoning....

***ETA: Spring, I've got one of those light show thingos. It was brought for DD and we never used it (trust me, she needed no distractions to keep her awake!) You are more than welcome to have it. It has two settings from memory, one is 5 mins, one is 10 and it plays music. It's brand new, never been used. PM me your address and I'll send it to you hun.

**Spring Angel** · February 2nd, 2008, 06:34 PM

Willow I know exactly what you mean about feeling better (for want of a better word) knowing that others are going through this. I sometimes feel like every other baby in the world is put in their cot, told goodnight and drifts off to sleep.... Logically I know this isn't the case but it gets so draining.

My DH always says he can't understand why we need so much help to fall to sleep. He also can't understand why we aren't toilet trained from the word go (lol).

I know what you are saying about leaving him for a minute. I basically run at top speed at the moment and rush in a pick him up but perhaps that is doing more harm than good.

I think it is going to be a bit of trial and error around here for a while.

Thanks again.

Spring

ps, we will have to do coffee (decaff of course lol) soon.

**~Trish~** · February 2nd, 2008, 06:34 PM

Spring - If he settles just the same in the cot as in your arms (i.e cries for a while first) then I don't see any reason why you shouldn't just put him in his cot. Like you said, he will cry any way! Babies are such difficult creatures sometimes, they know how to pull on our hearts and minds!

**Willow** · February 2nd, 2008, 06:38 PM

I basically run at top speed at the moment and rush in a pick him up but perhaps that is doing more harm than good.

Well hun, we probably both have our reasons for doing this, (I'm sure you know what I mean

), but I guess there comes a point where we need to step back a little bit and trust that they're going to be OK and let them do their thing, KWIM? I know I had to with DS after a few weeks otherwise he would never have learnt to go to sleep on his own.

Let me know if you want that light show thingo (see my post above)...and coffee is a definite. We just need to pin down the elusive Michelle! LOL.

**Spring Angel** · February 2nd, 2008, 06:40 PM

Trish: you are right, he seems to cry longer in my arms so it isn't really the best way for him. I just feel like I'm going to burst inside if he is crying and isn't in my arms but perhaps it is his way of saying 'put me down woman so I can get some sleep'

Willow you are way tooo sweet. One of the other wonderful amazing BB ladies has offered me one also so thank you a million times for the offer.

It is so nice to know that there are friendly supportive and generous people out there like you ladies.

ETA: I know Willow, I think my history is causing me to be on edge about every little noise he makes. At night, if I even hear him whimper I rush into the nursery and usually he is sound asleep. My heart beats so fast, I know I have to work on this, I can't be like this forever but it is so hard sometimes. I know you know what I mean.

Lv Spring

**Willow** · February 2nd, 2008, 06:42 PM

You're welcome hun. If for some reason the other one doesn't come through, let me know.

**Spring Angel** · February 2nd, 2008, 06:44 PM

Will do. I'll text Michelle about the Coffee. She is back at work so isn't on BB as much these days. We need to get here and Deb back in here quick smart.

**Willow** · February 2nd, 2008, 06:49 PM

I know what you mean but I guess we need to find a balance eventually, we don't want our boys growing up all insecure and fragile because of their poor neurotic mothers!! LOL. It's hard though, and much more so for you than me I'd imagine.

Yeah, I know she's working, I miss them both!

**Spring Angel** · February 2nd, 2008, 06:52 PM

Too true Willow. I think I might take the award for neurotic mother '08 but I keep telling Oliver that I'll pay for his therapy when he grows up (lol)

Well time for a cuppa for me.

Thanks for all the help ladies, I'll be back tomorrow to let you know how the tresillian line goes.

Spring

**LadyRaven** · February 2nd, 2008, 06:54 PM

As soon as Ryan starts to whinge I try and burp him, once he's either burped or done a few yarns and is still whingey I put him in bed and turn on his little music thing, my mum got it from target for $19 it plays little moving pictures on the ceiling and lights up. I then shut the door and have the monitor on in the other room, he will have a cry, then silence, then another cry, then silence and then is usually asleep in about 5-10minutes and the music thing turns off after 10 minutes. It's the only way he will sleep, if he knows I'm even in the room he cries and tries to look around for me. I try and shut the door and walk loudly away so he knows I'm not there otherwise it takes forever.

This morning he woke up crying I got up, rushed to the toilet, went and washed my hands and then by the time I'd gotten there he was back asleep again.

**~Trish~** · February 2nd, 2008, 07:01 PM

I just feel like I'm going to burst inside if he is crying and isn't in my arms but perhaps it is his way of saying 'put me down woman so I can get some sleep'

LOL, I'm sure this is what my DS is saying to me too! Sometimes I just give up and put him in his cot and he settles pretty quickly and I wonder why I didn't just do that in the first place!

**Spring Angel** · February 3rd, 2008, 06:44 AM

Well you wouldn't believe it, DS has just gone down for his morning sleep in his cot by himself. I could cry I am so happy.

I took all of your wonderful advice and as soon as I saw his tired signs I put him in his cot. He was in there for about 5 mins talking to himself quite happily when the tone of his voice changed to more of a whinge. I went in, swaddled him, patted his tum and stroked his hair and turned on one of his toys that sings a short tune. I went in another 4 times but I really don't care because it worked!!! He is asleep. He didn't cry anywhere near as much as he does if I am holding him. I can't wait to see how he goes with the lights and music.

I feel so stupid for not trying this earlier, I just assumed that he would want to be in my arms

but perhaps it isn't the best way to help him sleep.

I hope so much that it continues to work.

I'll keep you up to date.