DS Fights sleep...Ideas????

[Janie]

Spring, you've done better than me hun! As I said, it's taken me this long to figure out that he's probably not better off in my arms. In fact, it would appear that he's better when I'm not there at all I got so desperate a month or so ago that I started settling him in his cot one night, but staying by his side, just to pat his tummy etc. Well, it was awful. He screamed and screamed and screamed and in the end I just picked him up. I still feel guilty about that.

But if I put him in his cot and leave the room, he still cries, but for considerably less time than if I was with him, holding him or not. I don't like doing it (having sworn black and blue that I would NEVER CC) but it's better than him arching his back and twisting and turning and screaming in my arms for 15-45 minutes (try wrangling with a 9kg, 9 month old baby!). I will note that the only reason I got desperate enough to even try this is because he went from settling quickly overnight, to taking over an hour a couple of times a night to get down. I was just exhausted from spending most of my day AND night trying to settle my bub. I think I have to accept that DS is one of those bubs who will mostly cry to sleep.

I too am so glad that DS is not the only baby to do this! YKWIM I was starting to feel like every other baby in the world self-settled in their cot peacefully, and that I was doing something wrong.

Spring, by all means give the light show a go, but don't be disappointed if it doesn't work. We have had to take everything out of the cot, including the light show because he just thought it was play time in there. Particularly with the light show. But if it works for you I will be clapping my hands with excitement hun! And I'm so glad that the last 12 hours have gone so much better for you and Ollie

[Willow]

WTG Spring!! I am so excited for you. Not trying to burst your bubble here, but just be prepared that it might not always be this easy. Sometimes he might take a bit of settling but you guys are off to a brilliant start!!

[Celsie]

My DS started off this way, until we figured out that he liked falling asleep with his head covered. I use a light muslin wrap and cover my arm and his head (like you do when you're breastfeeding in public) and tap his bum. Bingo, asleep in under 3 minutes! We also found that he loved going to sleep in his sling. We've got a baba sling and he shuts his eyes the minute we put him in it!

I don't know if it's the answer to your problems, but it's worth a try. A few girls in my mother's group have tried the covered head trick and it's worked for them too.

Good luck!!!

Celsie. xoxox

[Spring Angel]

Janie: I really feel sympathy for you. It makes you feel pretty crappy when you can't help. I totally understand why you have made the choices you have. DS is 7kgs and I barely hold onto him so a 9kg bub would be so difficult. Guilt is a terrible thing isn't it. But you are doing the absolute best for you and bub so don't be too hard on yourself.

Willow: I agree, I always say 2 steps forward 1 step back but I'm happy that we have had some progress.

Celsie: It is funny that you mention your DS likes sleeping with his head covered. I still do, I used to put a pillow over my head to sleep but I can't since having DS because I need to be able to hear him. Do you take the muslin of once he is asleep?

Well I'm in the process of trying sleep number 2 for the day and so far I've gone back in twice but I can't hear anything at the moment

[~Trish~]

Woohoo Spring!!! I'm so glad that he settled so well for you! I hope he continues to do so for you, but like others have said, it may not always be that easy every time. It's so nice when they do though!!

My DS went down really easily this morning for his first nap, but his second was a doozy. I ended up just leaving him to cry for a minute because everything I tried was making it worse. I planned to go back in to put his dummy in, but before I could he had gone off to sleep! This literally took a minute or two. I really think sometimes they just need to have a bit of a wind-down cry and then they can work it out for themselves. It makes me feel horrible though, but maybe like you said, they are trying to tell us to leave when they are squirming and crying?

I hope you feel a bit more empowered now!

[Spring Angel]

He's asleep!!!! I think I have to pinch myself.

Whoo Hoo on your DS self settling too Trish, what a huge milestone and with only 1 min of crying.

Lv Spring

[~Debbie~]

Spring - i have a similar issue. Except, its for his night sleep, not his days. Thankfully, he mostly settles well during the night, its just the inital bed time thing.
I have found the only thing that works for me is to sit with him on my lap in front of the tv. Sorta have him sitting not cuddled in , but, leaning back against me, and i gently 'bounce/rock' him.
I think the tv distracts him from thinking about going to sleep. Its probably bad habits, but, 9 times out of 10 it works. Will take about 5 - 10min for him to get settled, but, there is no screaming, back arching stuff. He just fidgets and shifts around alot.

Good luck, and hugs. Its difficult and frustrating. Its also very easy to doubt yourself and your abilities as a mum, because you cant figure out what to do to settle them, but, hang in there, you are doing well.

[Janie]

Sorry to crash Spring, but it took DS 7 minutes to go to sleep just now!!!!!!!!!!! He never goes to sleep that quickly! I'm so excited

We're all going great guns, it's so exciting Spring, I think I have to pinch myself too.

[Spring Angel]

Debbie: Thanks for the suggestion, I have tried the TV but it only worked once. So glad it works for your little fella.

[Spring Angel]

Janie: That is unreal... Whoo Bloddy Hoo

[Willow]

LOL, way to go girls!! It is very exciting when they do it.

I think the day DS sleeps for longer than 4 hours I'll take out an ad in the paper

[Spring Angel]

Sleep number 3 and counting. That one was a bit more of a struggle but considering the time of the afternoon he is sometimes cranky anyway.

Willow: LMAO, if you're anything like me, the first time he does sleep your boobs will wake you up anyway.

Good luck for tonight ladies.

lv Spring

[Celsie]

Yes, I take it off once he closes his eyes, because I then put him down in his cot to go to sleep. I only do it if he's in my arms. I think it would be dangerous anywhere other than in your arms or over the canopy of the pram, iykwim?

Celsie. xoxox

[Spring Angel]

Yep Celsie, that makes sense.

I'll give it a whirl and see how it goes.

Spring

[LuluHB]

My DD is a fantastic sleeper too - once she's asleep! Day sleeps I try to put her down when I get the tired signs but I don't do the controlled crying either so if she cries (not just grizzles) I'll pick her up and hold her for some quiet time - patting her back, stroking her hair etc. She will sometimes fight it for a while and squirm all over my but eventually she will quiet down and snuggle into my shoulder and fall asleep. I can then put her down in her cot and she'll have a good nap.

Hope something works for you - its so frustrating when you know they're tired but the little horrors just seem to fight it so hard. Not like their mummies who would kill for a nap!

[~Trish~]

Well done today Spring! Sounds like your little man is getting there!!

I find my DS settles better for naps at the start of the day and each nap afterwards seems to disintegrate!

Keep up the good work mummy!

[Snacks]

Ah, I've had a fair bit to catch up on!
Congratulations, it sounds like those bubs are settling much quicker and without as many tears.
Probably not much point in answering your question to me now, Spring, but I will anyway
I don't think it is CC when you are there with them - the comfort is there whenever he wants it, so he is 'controlling' the comfort, KWIM?
And I so KWYM about that initial shock that perhaps bubba might settle better out of your arms. It really surprised me when that happened to us.
Here's hoping you guys have found a new, happy bedtime groove

[~kellie~]

reading through this thread has helped me in 2 ways...

its given me some idea to try to get DD to sleep

and its reminded me I'm not the only one going through this!

Thanks ladies!