Birth Bouncer - new career for Lulu?!!

[BellyBelly]

Better add our BB article in here too

Saying No To Unwanted Birth Support People

[Trish]

PMSL Lulu, good on you hun.

Thankfully I have a big enough mouth to handle my own unwanted's.

[Lulu]

Well maybe you can join me, I'm thinking of extending my services to include Obs....

[Trillian]

Oh I can sooo see you doing that Lulu LMFAO.

[christy]

*wiping computer down* You could make some serious cash if you included OB's

I needed 1 DH, 1 doula, and 1 midwife to push an OB out of the room while I was labouring away. I could have used a bouncer at the door then.

I agree keep Divster on hand close by

I may have a spare whip around the place if you need one....

[briggsy's girl]

we can help with the cattle prod - couple of spare ones down this way!!!

consider your services booked for when we have our kidlets - already having issues with the mother DEMANDING to be in the room - and when i put her in her place, she went to DH and told him he MUST call her when i went to the hospital as it was her right to wait out the birth of her grandchild..... having had to play birth bouncer at her eldest grandchild's birth (bro called and got me from Canberra to come and control her) - i KNOW it needs to be someone with back bone....

maybe those cuffs and chains you were so keen on slinging over your shoulder the other week would come in handy hun....

[JCE0810]

Lulu your a crack-up!!!!


Luckily at Sophie birth i didnt need your services as my mum could get the time off work (she lives interstate) and MIL missed the birth by 2days as Sophie came early and SIL was invited into the birthing suite. DF's brother (SIL's husband) did turn up at some point after the birth but i didnt mind i was high as a kite on whatever drugs i had for theatre

[Pandora]

Are you only available for births or for the ensuing hospital visit? I had no issues with people during labour, but not less that 15, close to 20 visitors turned up in one session, and only 1 person had the good sense to leave and come back at another time, so I was trapped in there and then had to face day 3 on my own the follwing morning...

[Beach Mama]

Love it!!!!! October please!

[nickel]

M-a-a-a-ate! I needed you 6 years ago!! It's actually not such a bad idea ... could be an extension of the birthing services - You get a Doula who brings her own Door *****, no extra cost or something!

[alioops]

Lulu, i think you will need a few associates in each state. maternity wards could employ a bouncer for every room! I would love to get rid of anoying family members and 'friends' that dont understand the word NO! I told Dad to go home when I was in labour. Teasing my sis i said that i was available if she needed any extra support, but i never intended to go in as i know that you really do need to be comfortable. I wonder whether this is actually a viable business? might be worth looking into maternity ward security

[Amity]

*claps her hands* I think my retainer fee could be paid in alcohol...

I'm PMSL at this Lulu... you're a classic!

I think I'll stand in line behind Lulu, writs in hand... if you dare pass this door you will be slapped with a trespass notice (and then slapped by Lulu LOL) and I will make sure those boys in blue come and take you away (or the boys in white... with straitjackets...)

Oh and there's the extra bonus to Lulu and I for the perve factor on the policemen LOL!

I'm going away now to think up some extra deviant things for Lulu to do... PMSL!!!

[rosehannah]

PMSL Lulu and Divvy, before long you will be employing staff, such is the need for your services.

[fionas]

My inner authoritarian has ALWAYS wanted to say, "you're not on the list, you're not getting in."

Brill idea.

[Amity]

I think the following things might also be on lulu2's list... you can choose any of the following options...

boxing gloves (light, middle or heavy weight)
shotgun
knee amputators
glasses and clipboard (pen optional)
fake ugly baby (here it is, you've seen it, now go home, by the way it looks like you it's SO UGLY)
cricket bat/baseball bat

Any other suggestions? Oh and combinations are possible for different people, ie "Ugly Baby Option" for Grandma, Kneecaps for Grandad... etc etc...

[diva-n-dan]

OOooooooo ... can I play attack dog??? I come with my own studded collar, leash and a mighty fine set of dentures

Woof woof, grrrrrrrrr ....

P.S. I'm not housetrained either ...

[Schmickers]

LOLLOL

I love this. We may hire you for our next birth.

[Lulu]

He hee Div, but just to clarify -

No boxing gloves - they wreck my nails, but I have a killer uppercut.
Knee Amputators - yep but they are my 7 inch heels.

Yes fake ugly baby will join me, we have a horrible one at playgroup I can borrow, and if you want Diva n Dan to turn up with the studded collar I have a matching set of leathers that go perfectly with the heels.....