Caesar mums- do you feel you missed out?

[JennaJayen]

I can't believe she said that to you either - everyone's experience with c/sec is different, and everyone feels differently afterwards.

I have had a traumatic c/sec and a healing VBAC, so I'm a bit biased.

But...

I as induced with DS at 41+3 as I was in so much pain in my hips/back/pelvis, mostly from his position (he was posterior) but also from something that happened to my hip when I was 7wks that I still haven't got a diagnosis for.
After 41 hours of labout (most of it on my back) my OB said DS was stuck, we were both taccychardic (very low BP) and said they could either try vacuum extraction or go straight to c/sec. I was devastated as I had been wanting a VB more than anything, and it was really traumatic for me especialy when the vacuum extraction didn't work, and I was so scared that I'd need another c/sec with my next baby (yep, I had major issues lol).
My stepmum, who has had 4 c/secs, tried to calm me down before I went into theatre and told me it wasn't the end of the world etc, but I was panicking to much to listen (I'm also terrified of being cut open, and surgery of any kind in general lol).
So after having DS I felt cheated, I cried continuously, it took ages for me to start producing colostrum, and then even longer for my milk to come in and the nursery staff gave DS formula for his first feed instead of trying to get in to breastfeed, so when I wanted to try and breastfeed he wouldn't have a bar of it and wouldn't latch on, and then by 6wks what little milk I was producing was gone anyway.
I was determined to have a VBAC with DD because I had felt so cheated and I was still terrified of being operated on.
For me it was a healing experience to have my VBAC, I have bonded so much better with DD than I did with DS, because our first feed without the syringe was a breastfeed, which felt like a victory for me.
After my c-sec with DS is took me almost 2 days to get out of bed because I felt that horrible with the pain and discomfort, whereas with DD I was up and having a shower within an hour of her being born, and I felt well enough to go home that night even though we had to wait 24 hours for her sugar levels to be pronounced "Normal" because I had had GD, but I felt great! So a little over 24 hours after she was born I was home and feeling good and well the best I had felt for literally months!
Sorry to waffle on so much, but just thought I'd share what it was like for me. It would probably have been differnt if the c/sec with DS had been wanted and planned and not traumatic for me, but unfortunately I can't change that, I'm just glad I now have 2 healthy children and had the chance to experience both the c-sec and VBAC.
For me, acheiving the VBAC and to be still expressing makes me feel less like a failure as a mother than I did before.