Hi Impatient,
It sounds like your family has decided that you will all be together for the birth of your next baby. There is an online bookstore that has some fabulous titles on birth the bookstore is 'capers'. Have a look in there and give the woman a call and ask her for books she recommends for children attending a birth. There are some dvds/videos that you can also buy. I am a bit loathe to recommend any particular ones as to be honest they are all pretty good.

I hear you say that you will labour without the assistance of an epidural this time. Good for you, if that is your decision. I really hope you can access a midwifery led model of care for your birth. A midwife will walk with you through the pregnancy and explore with you methods of pain relief other than medication/epidural. Women who have another woman to support them through the pregnancy and birth process (midwife, doula, birth educated woman friend/sister) have more positive outcomes and feel more satisfied with their birthing experience. It's a fact! Birth doesn't have to be a 'screaming match'. In fact it shouldn't be. When women use low noises - regardless of their 'loudness' they focus on the part that is needed to birth their baby. (think cows with their low guttural noise). When a woman screams she is usually afraid. With support through labour by another woman that is known to the labouring woman this fear can largely be abated and a more positive outcome can occur. Women don't require epidurals in order to be 'together' for their other children. I have been present at many births where children are present - when they are prepared, when they know what noises will sound like they take it in their stride and understand the normalacy of the birthing process. It is good that your sil will come to be with your daughter. That will help your daughter to feel more supported. Ensure that your sil is well educated on the birthing process and on what you want/need from her during your labour. If you need any help or any specific titles let me know and I can supply you with what's good in my opinion...