Children at the birth

[Impatient]

Hi Deb

It says I don't have permission, so I suppose that's why??

Anyway, I might give them a call through the week, although I was wondering if I wanted to have an epidural, would I not be able to use the birthing centre?

With DD I started vomiting with every contraction, and they had to give me injections to stop it, but after a while they stopped working.

Eventually our only option was the epidural (after me telling them flat-out that there was NO WAY I was going to have one of THOSE!), and I was finally able to get through the rest of the labour without feeling sick.

Thanks again for your help, by the way!

[Lisa76]

It sounds like you have made your decision but I thought I would add my 2 cents worth.

Our daughter and son were at the birth of our third child (Jayden) and they were just fantastic, Taylor was 7 and Jarred was 6 and it was really special, they had watched lots of episodes of Maternity Ward on the Discovery Channel and my mum was in the waiting room in case it was all too much for them but they just loved being there and when I fell pregnant again (with Savanah) there was no way they were going to miss her birth for the world. They were watching all the action (as opposed to being up near me) and the looks on their faces when the babies were born is something I will remember forever, not to mention their comments that were captured by the video recorder. After Savanah was born there was a big gush of fluid and Jarred can be heard saying "Taylor look, mums weeing!"

One thing that I did insist on was having an epidural, apart from the fact that I decided to go without pain relief for Jarreds birth (never again) I didn't want to scare the kids by screaming like a banshee while there is a head protruding from my body !!! ( I do want grandchildren one day)

We had asked them if they wanted to cut Savanahs cord but when they were handed the scissors they got really upset, it didnt occur to us until later that they thought they would be hurting the baby by cutting the cord. I just wish we had of thought to explain it earlier that it dosent hurt the baby.

[Impatient]

Thanks Lisa. I'm going to try to go without the epidural this time, but if I start vomiting again, then I'll have no choice. If DD wants to cut the cord, she'll be fighting DH for the honour!!!

I'm currently in the process of preparing DD for it all - at least I've got plenty of time. We've also decided to see if my sister or SIL can be on hand, to keep her "amused" when she gets bored, which I know she will - especially if it's a long labour!

[Inanna]

Hi Impatient,
It sounds like your family has decided that you will all be together for the birth of your next baby. There is an online bookstore that has some fabulous titles on birth the bookstore is 'capers'. Have a look in there and give the woman a call and ask her for books she recommends for children attending a birth. There are some dvds/videos that you can also buy. I am a bit loathe to recommend any particular ones as to be honest they are all pretty good.

I hear you say that you will labour without the assistance of an epidural this time. Good for you, if that is your decision. I really hope you can access a midwifery led model of care for your birth. A midwife will walk with you through the pregnancy and explore with you methods of pain relief other than medication/epidural. Women who have another woman to support them through the pregnancy and birth process (midwife, doula, birth educated woman friend/sister) have more positive outcomes and feel more satisfied with their birthing experience. It's a fact! Birth doesn't have to be a 'screaming match'. In fact it shouldn't be. When women use low noises - regardless of their 'loudness' they focus on the part that is needed to birth their baby. (think cows with their low guttural noise). When a woman screams she is usually afraid. With support through labour by another woman that is known to the labouring woman this fear can largely be abated and a more positive outcome can occur. Women don't require epidurals in order to be 'together' for their other children. I have been present at many births where children are present - when they are prepared, when they know what noises will sound like they take it in their stride and understand the normalacy of the birthing process. It is good that your sil will come to be with your daughter. That will help your daughter to feel more supported. Ensure that your sil is well educated on the birthing process and on what you want/need from her during your labour. If you need any help or any specific titles let me know and I can supply you with what's good in my opinion...

[BellyBelly]

I have some in the recommended reading list, I do find that capers are alot more expensive than seek books - I spend so much time looking for birth books! Also eBay or Amazon can be helpful sometimes too.

[Inanna]

Goodo I will have a look!

[storm]

Michelle, I know you've probably made your decision by now, But I thought I'd let you know I had my DD at Zac's birth & she was tremendous! I don't think it scared her to bad, as she wants to come to this one too, but she has said she is never gonna have her own kids though!!
I think it is a wonderful occassion & if the kids want to come I could never ever tell them no!

[Impatient]

Storm, you reminded me of what DD said to me the other day - she's decided she wants to be an old maid, because boys stink and they're annoying. Also, she doesn't like pain, and she knows (from what I have told her) that child birth hurts, so that's why she's made her decision. LOL. I'm just waiting for the day that boys are no longer stinky and annoying!

Thanks for the info on the different books, guys. I'm going to have a look further into that - it's a great idea and will help me to educate DD without scaring the cr*p out of her!