I wanted to go all natural, begged for an epi (in transition, so far too late and entirely due to the adrenalin-kick-fear that transition brings, and i was at home so i couldn't have had one anyway) and ended up using gas for about an hour (when i should have been pushing - was in pre-labour still at first examination, crowning 4 hours later at 2nd, STILL not pushing LOL).

I also felt a failure for using the gas, especially afterwards when it became clear i was fighting the pushing reflex for nothing, and i could have gotten the natural birth i'd wanted, but i soon got over it - DD is here and safe and i have good memories of an empowering birth. All in all it was fine. If i have another one i'll know when i can push!

If i were you i'd stay flexible. It might all happen so easy you don't need an epi, or so fast you don't have time for one, or you might want one and get one and have your perfect birth. My friend had her DD with a "walking epi" so she could still move and push but not feel much or support her weight without help. SHe watched DD being born in a mirror as she pushed and she said that the epi helped her to really truly enjoy her birthing experience.

I think it's great to know what your "ideal" is before and then see what happens on the day, IYKWIM. Don't worry about what other people think. It's very easy to say "But do you really NEED an epidural?" when there's not a person coming out of your vagina!

Hana