Well if you book me before my studies are done I'll consider you a freebie You can email me -
dreamless_sleeper at hotmail.com
if you'd like to chat about it further - no obligations
First time, DP, ob, anaesthetist and all others associated with a c/s - was a bit of a crowd really! We had a scheduled c/s due to placenta praevia.
Next birth I would like to have at home. We will have a m/w, doula, DP, my DD and my Mum (to look after DD). If DP doesn't get on board the idea of a home birth, then we'll still have a doula and possibly DD and my Mum.
For the whole labour I had my then partner. He was a bit nervous about it even though he'd been through it before with his ex. He was fantastic throughout, much better than I thought he'd be. He was so emotional when he walked out of the room to announce the birth that my parents thought the bub or I had died. I also had my MIL there for most of the labour at the hossy and my parents came in and out.
For the birth itself (vac extraction) they cleared the room apart from my partner (at my request) so it was just us & a team of 8 medicos.
I think it would be a great shame if he doesn't come in with you. I'm sure when the time comes you will want him there. Just keep him at the top of the bed when the birth happens if he's squeamish.
Next time (if there is one) I'm having my sister. And no DH if I can manage it.
You need someone who loves you, cares for you, listens to you and will stick up for you if someone wants to shove "hospital policy" on you. Or tell you that you're in pain when you're not.
DH believed the midwives when they said I was in pain rather than me, who was not only not in pain but chatting about the student midwife's studies and playing scrabble. My mother would be too flappy and fussy. My sister may not have given birth, but she's reliable and calm and wouldn't flap too much. She loves me enough to be there for me but isn't so crazy-love that she'd tell me to go against my needs because she thinks I may want to.
I also had a whole plethora of hospital staff the first time - can't even remember who they all were or what they were for. Next time, I may have a midwife IF that midwife is VERY, VERY lucky. I know the last two midwives I saw recently tried to talk me out of freebirthing but TBH if I don't feel comfortable with a midwife I'm not going to have one.
Hi,
for DS1 I had my DH and a friend (she was there to support DH as he is also very squimish)
DS2 just my DH
DS3 DH and an Independant Midwife
My first two labors resulted in c-section and my third was a VBAC.
I'd also suggest either a Doula or and Independant Midwife. I chose an IM over a doula as they only cost a little bit more and are qualified to give medical advice if needed.
First time I had DH, godparents came at one point and another friend came at another point. (visited really - I had a long labour and I didn't mind them being there)
Second time DH, Doula, MIL, DD (and the midwives of course).
I only had DH and medical people. DH and I are very close and I'm much more comfortable around him than any female friends or family members.
It was interesting, DH wasn't at all squeamish about the c/s birth. He stood up and watched and took pictures over the screen. The part he found difficult was seeing me in pain during the labour.
He probably wasn't as good an advocate for me as he could have been. One midwife was trying to take the gas away from me and it would have been nice if he said something. I guess that is where a doula would come in handy.
I had my dh and my best friend. BF was useless- she vomited as soon as she walked in the room, then started taking photos of me in labour, which i had specifically aked her not to do. She ain't invited this time I thought she would be great help, having had two kids herself (although, in her defense, we didn't call her until there was about an hour to go, so she came in right at the end).
My dh is very squeamish but he was fantastic during labour, I couldn't have done it without him. Having said that, I was less then impressed when he started throwing up in the sink, holding our freshly birthed baby- it was the smell of the placenta that got to him
Originally my huband and I decided that it would just be the 2 of us. I would have liked my mum there, but he didn't want her in the room as it was his 1st child (my 2nd) and I respected that.
However on the day, there was no way in the world I was going in without either one of them, and DH had no problems with this, I think he secretly encouraged it.
He is now greatful that she was there (my labour went FOREVER) and they are much closer now than they ever were.
My birth was **** (something I am still struggling to deal with), but if it wasn't, they wouldn't be as close as they are, so I am greatful for that.
GL with your birth. It will be an amazing experience, no matter how it turns out.
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