Did you ever have the feeling someone HAD to be there?

[Arimeh]

This is all very strange for me.

Last pregnancy I had my midwives down here and my DH. And thats all I wanted, I didn't feel that I needed or wanted anyone else.

This time around - if I have the baby in tassie, I'll have several birth "helpers", my DH and my midwife.

But if I have it in Queensland, I'll have DH and my birth attendant (hopefully you're still on board Deb!) but last night, I got the strongest feeling that I HAD to have my mother in there with me. Not just a "ooh yeah, I think I would kind of like that"... but a "OMG, I HAVE to have my mother there with me".

Which is the strangest thing - why am I feeling like this? I didn't feel it last time, why now?

I was getting all emotional over it last night and sending her text messages telling her I would really like her to be in there with me, she doesn't think she can do it because she doesn't want to see me in pain, cos she'd sook all the time.. LOL..

I dunno - I just want her there if its in Queensland. Not if its in Tassie - I don't feel I need her here - but up there I do.

Has anyone else had something similar or am I just going bonkers?

[sassy123]

i was the opposite i didnt want anyone other then DH and my mum kinda just came in and i didnt feel liek i coudl ask her to leave. i did want to be watched. i have this thing where if people r watching me i thnk about how i should be acting, like was i screaming in pain too much or was i not showing that it was hurting enough or were the noises i was makin sounding stupid iykwim.

[ezymay]

I knew I didn't just want dh and had my best friend. But our friendship has changed now and I wouldn't say we were best friends anymore. I have a step mother, no real mum and didn't/dont want her. This time round I really feel I need someone else but I'm not sure who that is!!! it's funny isn't it. I guess it's about the support you feel in tas compared to qld.

[Daydream Believer]

I didnt have a HAVE TO but I had a REALLY WANT to but I knew it wasnt possible because this person has 2 young kiddies of her own & lives 2 hours away. And as much as I really wanted DD there, because she is only 2 & I didnt know how long it would take for DS to be born, it was going to be way too hard to try & keep her entertained, so my mum bought her in as soon as she could get there after he was born

[sasha]

Weirdly enough, if I had to do it without M this time, I'd be fine, as long as the midwife was there. I do like having someone, so it would freak me out to birth all by myself, but I don't like to be touched when I'm in labour, so it's not like M can be a physical help, plus he is nauseous at the sight of blood, so not the most practical of birth partners LOL

So I don't know what you mean when you say you have to have your mum there (because I don't think I'd want mine, as much as I love her) but in the same way, for the last baby M's mum was over and M suggested to me beforehand that she could come and be in the birth with me, and THAT made me want to cry. I was completely, irrationally, absolutely against that, so in that sense I can understand that you feel that way, but the opposite.

Oh dear. Does that make any sense at all?!!

Could you suggest that she come with the understanding from both of you, that if things got too much for her, she could step out of the room? That way she might feel she had an 'escape route' so to speak, which she probably wouldn't need... but it might be reassuring to know it was there. And you could have the other support people/your husband/whoever to be there in case she needed it.

[Glamourcide]

I didn't realise how much I needed my mummy until I was well into the throes of labour!! DH was under strict instruction not to call his parents until *after* baby was born (I had issues with FIL and didn't want him barging in and ruining everything) and we didn't feel it was fair for them to miss out while my parents got to be there so we attempted to go it alone. Then when I was in labour, I just realised I NEEDED my mum by my side to hold my hand - DH was a fantastic support partner, but I just wanted my mummy and had to have her with me.. at least you're realising now that you want your mum with you so arrangements can be made in advance! I don't think it's crazy at all Each birth is different and so is each support team - and even if they're the same people, they support in different ways for different births so if you want your mum with you for this one, it's a good thing that you know it now

[Miss.September]

I'm the same, Glamourcide. Realised how much I needed my mum as my second support during labour, but I had to get over it because she was in Egypt at the time!!

The other posts are right though. If that's what you want, get her there!!

[Indadhanu]

For me, no. I didn't care who was there at the time.

For you Mel, do you think it has to do with location. As in, you had two c/s in Queensland. And a VBA2C in Tassie. Do you feel like your 'safer' in Tassie? And that maybe you need you mums protetion in QLD?

[luna moth]

You're bonkers. But that is nothing to do with this feeling :P

Is it to do with your recent trip up there, and staying with her, and has that ever so slightly changed your need to have her around? Just a thought...

[kungfubecca]

maybe it's just part of getting older, having babies, becomeing a mum and connecting with your own mum more, and your brain might be telling you that it's not fair to make your mum come all the way to tassie, but if your near her she could be there.

[Tegam]

hope your mum will be there for you if you end up moving!