Weirdly enough, if I had to do it without M this time, I'd be fine, as long as the midwife was there. I do like having someone, so it would freak me out to birth all by myself, but I don't like to be touched when I'm in labour, so it's not like M can be a physical help, plus he is nauseous at the sight of blood, so not the most practical of birth partners LOL

So I don't know what you mean when you say you have to have your mum there (because I don't think I'd want mine, as much as I love her) but in the same way, for the last baby M's mum was over and M suggested to me beforehand that she could come and be in the birth with me, and THAT made me want to cry. I was completely, irrationally, absolutely against that, so in that sense I can understand that you feel that way, but the opposite.

Oh dear. Does that make any sense at all?!!

Could you suggest that she come with the understanding from both of you, that if things got too much for her, she could step out of the room? That way she might feel she had an 'escape route' so to speak, which she probably wouldn't need... but it might be reassuring to know it was there. And you could have the other support people/your husband/whoever to be there in case she needed it.