DIY Deliveries: More Women Go It Alone (US)

[Trillian]

I often wonder that if sometimes the vehement cries of "I will NOT give birth in a hospital ever again" are often just 'cutting off your nose to spite your face'. It takes an extraordinary person who can truly abandon everyone around them and give birth alone, knowledgable in the possible consquences (which can happen in any birth in any setting) and not reach a point where they chicken out so to speak and request help, or even to go to hospital. Do you feel that you would be able to deal with a surprise breech baby, or a baby with its cord around its neck - how do you propose to deal with those problems if they arrise? I wouldn't have had a hope of being able to reach down there to get the cord from around my son's neck if I had gone it alone with my last birth, and even if I managed that, how would I have gotten his shoulders out, that had gotten stuck, and then after all of that, would I have had the strength to be able to rescusitate him when he needed it? It's all well and good to say that you (being the generalised *you*) are going to freebirth, or even an assisted birth with only a DH or other support person there, but Doula's aren't necessarily medically trained. What are *you* going to do to train yourself to deal with these and many other problems? The women who freebirth aren't stupid or crazy, often they are midwives themselves, but either way they learn what they need to be able to do it as safely as they can. And if the worse does happen, how do you deal with that? there is no one to blame except one person; no obs with hands (to borrow a phrase Ryn), no mean spirited midwives, no dodgy hospital systems and 'regulations' can you deal with that?

By no means am I advocating for hospital births, but there are so many options available to us if our first (or subsequent) experiences were not what we wanted - get a new Dr, change hospitals, use a birth centre, homebirth, or even freebirth, but do so with the knowledge and expertise that you have learned, don't do yourself a disservice by not learning the tools you need. You can give birth on your terms in any setting.

[s361768]

Sheree,

It sounds like you are advocating hospital births...with all these horrible things that could occur in childbirth for mother and baby.

I think you said that you had trouble birthing your baby and I am sorry for your experience. I believe not all women have these complications while birthing, just the same as not all women go through the nightmare that many go through in the public hospital system, I know women that have had great births in the hospital.

However Sheree, I don't think that I am cutting my nose off to spite my face!!!
If it is not a public hospital birth then what is it, a birth centre that you have to sign up for at the hosp but will never possibly get into (experienced it), a midwife through the hospital system (again) that will come to your home for visits (I haven't heard back from the hospital regarding that...it's been almost 7 months...gee I only have 3 weeks to go). Hmmm changing hospital, been there. So I have birthed in 2 Brisbane hospitals within good proximity to me. Should I travel down the Bruce Highway or Logan Motorway while in labour to birth just in the vain hope that the next hospital an hour away won't treat my body and baby like it means nothing to them.

Birthing with a Doula and my partner in a medically unassisted birth, I understand this and have said before, I can not afford the LUXURY of a midwife, but won't go to hospital (unless I have to) because of my experiences. And by no means am I being vehemant when I say this. I am upset that I don't have many options. Hospital would be great if I could trust them to support me during my labour and birth, the way I want to be supported.

I am rather quite mentally tired thinking about whether I should or I shouldn't go to the hospital because of the back and forth "what ifs" and "do I truly need the hospital to birth my baby, other women do and they come through it unscathed and at least the baby is healthy and alive and that is the main thing"

It doesn't help when other women, who may not have been faced with similar experiences, say so blindly that you are being irresponsible or that you are cutting your nose of to spite your face because of a choice not to birth in a hospital setting and even unassisted.

Women should be supporting other womens birthing choices because the medical model doesn't support a women in making her own choices, rather they are made for her.