I think it's so interesting how we have all experienced our different kinds of birth and pain in our lives!

I wanted to add some thoughts now the thread has grown so much.

Re: relaxation - i think it is undoubtedly true that "going with" the sensations of labour, and not allowing fear to bring tension into the body will improve the labour experience for EVERY woman. I remember becoming tense several times during labour and the contractions became very difficult to deal with until i found my mojo again. However, all of us have different bodies, and all of us feel pain and handle pain differently, and all of us, inside, have different pain nerve and neural paths and there WILL be some women for whom labour will be very painful, no matter HOW well relaxed they are.

Accepting that there will be some pain can be a means to letting go of fear, it needn't insight greater fear. I actually thought, in pregnancy, that labour was going to be the most agonising experience of my life, and i was very pleased it wasn't and very surprised too - my imagination outstripped my experience! But then i AM experienced with pain - i HAVE broken bones, torn soft tissues and suffered injuries, including some unfortunately in my genitals. Having something to compare it to HAS to make a difference, doesn't it?

I think that how we react to pain can make a real difference - someone on a previous page wrote that they broke their arm in pregnancy and couldn't have painkillers and it was a sharp pain but they handled it..? I do not like sharp pain.

The sprained ankle i found worse - it was sharp and then hot and insistent and relentless and i felt sick to my stomach trying to cope with it.
The cigarette burn i found worse - it was sharp and sudden and buzzed on like a vibrating needle in my skin for hours and hours.
The broken collarbone was worse - everytime the horse leaped and stretched to clear the jump i forced my hands to "give" so i wouldn't pull her mouth and i felt the ends of the bone grate across one another and a hot sharp fire of pain burned down to my hand and up to my ear - it was terrible!
The broken footed half marathon hurt more - the pain started as a sharpish jolt everytime my foot hit the ground, and after about 3 miles turned into a round constant ache with a jab in there every step. By the end of the race, 10 miles later, as far as i was concerned my leg ended half way down my shin and below that i just had a painful throbbing stump, i kept expecting to see my shoe full of blood (metatarsal stress fractures can become complete fractures suddenly and rupture through the top of the foot) and being amazed when i didn't. I had a hot stone in my stomach from bearing the pain so long when my body told me the whole way to STOP RUNNING.

With labour for me, the pain began slowly, was a warm, round aching sort of pain (as opposed to a sharp, jabbing sort of pain) and there was none of that "alarm" feeling i get when i'm injured until transition, and even then, somewhere inside i knew it was transition and didn't take myself 100% seriously, ikywim. It wasn't relentless because it kept stopping and going away for a while, and those breaks just felt like a cool drink of water on a hot thirsty day to me - it was WORTH getting thirsty to have them! The only two moments of labour i can say were painful for me were the moment when her head came through my cervix (that last bit of stretching of the cervix was sharp and sudden in my labour!) and when i felt my bones opening as i sat on the loo, just as she began to crown - i felt the bony ridge of her head with my fingers and thought, in my labour-numbed mind, that it was MY pelvic bones falling out! I had NEVER felt pressure like that, of someone coming OUT of me! It was immense, but also joyful and incredible. It made me want to laugh in amazement and weep with awe, i felt every emotion there is in that moment and i loved her for it - maybe HER life flashed in front of me?

I think the thing that's coming through from all of these posts most strongly is the consensus that the emotions and physical sensations of childbirth CAN be painful, but aren't definitely going to be, and even when they are, the experience brings us our children, and with them fulfillment and joy we had previousl only imagined.

To all you pregnant ladies waiting, i am so jealous! I'm broody as heck, and i loved the birthing experience, i cannot WAIT to go back for more! I'd do it on your behalfs but i'd feel guilty for taking such an incredible experience from you.

Bx