omigod these are hilarious!! Especially 'You've got blood on your face' I'm still pmsl!!!
With DS I was given gas first which they kept turning up, I kept passing out only to be woken by XP pulling the tube out of my mouth. I kept snatching it back. I loved the gas!
They then gave me pethidine, and I think once it got into my system my waters broke and I remember thinking how warm and pleasant it felt. But at that exact moment my body started folding like origami, I couldn't control what was happened and ended up yelling at XP to get the middie. I thought I was having an epileptic fit...turns out it was just my body pushing.
I only remember saying a couple of things, when DS was born and they kinda threw him at my chest I looked at him, then at XP and said 'He looks like an octopus'.
I remember saying 'ouch' when they were stitching my episiotomy up, and they gave me a local.
When MIL and my mum came in, I was so out of it from the gas and pethidine that when they saw DS I said 'Look what we made' and when they asked me what drugs I was on I kept saying 'meffaaaadone' I must have sounded and looked like a heroin addict! XP thought it was funny though.
There are two things I remember when DS was being born......
First was when the Doc was trying to break my water, and he was fishing around in there for what seemed like AGES and I said "What do you think you're doing, digging for GOLD"
Second was after the epidural had been done and I said to the Anethiesiologist....."I know they say this in all the movies, but I do sincerely love you"
I spent all day today checking in periodically until I got through all 10 pages. What a hilarious thread!
Mine weren't any funny moments, but in my son's birth (induction), I kept saying to my husband "oh god, make this stop" to which he replied "I can't, what do you want me to do?" - it wasn't until after the fact that I told him how useless he was and that was the last thing I needed to hear.
I remember yelling when a contraction would start "oh god not another" followed by a long "ooooooowwwwwwww" MW would say "just breath" - I snapped back "breathing doesn't make it hurt less".....poor bugger. When the epidural started working, she smiled at me and said "so we have nice Chris back do we"......
Once I was pushing - completely numb from the epidural - DH was rubbing my leg and telling me how good I was doing - I just looked at him and said "for starters, I can't feel a thing so don't bother, secondly, the verbal encouragement would have been better suited earlier when I was in pain - not now".......poor bugger. He did well under the circumstances.
I'm due again at any time with our second baby and have put him through the ringer to be a better support this time - we'll see what happens!
At one point I'd had so much gas I was doubled over a pillow and asked DP to put a hand on either side of my face and hold my head up, so I could still get the mouthpiece in.
The midwife told me if I couldn't hold my head up they'd have to turn the gas down.........I told her of couse i could hold my own head up I just wanted him to do it for me.
I don't think she beleived me and probably turned it down anyway ;p
The walked in to do my epidural, I took one look at him and turned to DP and whispered - "there's no way he's old enough to be a doctor" DP laughs at me, turns out my idea of a whisper at that point was kind of warped.
Doc tells me I'll still feel some contractions after epi so I can have gas for a bit longer....I may have exaggerated about feeling some of those contractions in order to keep the gas a bit longer
Towards the end of things the midwife tells me I'll need to let the epiural wear off once I feel pressure down there, when I do I tell the midwife and she tells me I'll need to stop clicking my epidural top up, I say sorry what was that **click click**
I was being turned over because I had a spinal block (emergency c-section) and while being turned over on the bed, all I could say was 'Wheeeeeee!'
Apparently it's the first time the anethestic assistant had heard anything like that in the 5yrs they'd worked in maternity... I was dopped up to my eyeballs in happy gas, pethedine + was completely sleep deprived
came in at 7pm to check my progress before going home for dinner ( thought id delver round 10pm, was 7pm at thid stage) lifts the blanket and moves my legs coz ive got a epidural and says "WHOA!!!! im not going home now!"
DD's head was nearly popping out!
then comes out with " wait dont go anywhere ill just grab a coffee and get changed ready to go!!!" i said " ummmm unless u have a little trolley thing with wheels to drag my legs along in im not going anywhere!!!" poor OB just laughed when he realised what he'd said given i had a epi!
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i said " ummmm unless u have a little trolley thing with wheels to drag my legs along in im not going anywhere!!!" poor OB just laughed when he realised what he'd said given i had a epi!
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