Funny things you said in labour

[Trish]

PMSL Rachel, my mum scoulded me for swearing with Joel too. Midwife told her it was fine though. LOL.

Funny you should hear the language in Tehya's birth dvd

[*charmalea*]

rofl!!

i just went and saw my sis who gave birth this morning , she said stuff like " i dont have any oil for the griddle pan"

and

"the cats are in the freezer"


erm... dunno where that came from

[RhiChiChi]

The other thing I remember saying to DH when I was in the shower, was 'lucky there are no other people in the birthing suites b/c they would not want to give birth after hearing me'

[*Nikki*]

LMAO - oh these are great..... deffinatly bring back some memories thats for sure

i said a few things... i desperatly wanted the m/w to cut off my legs (lmao all my pain was in my legs.... mum said she has never heard of that happening) i said i couldnt care less if i had no legs just cut them off (oh my im glad they didnt do that one :P)

i kept asking the midwife how long is was going to take.... and i kept turning around to look at the clock and when it was past the half hour she told me i said she was a liar and wanted to know how long it would be till this was all over

The m/w made me smile once by saying "its like pushing a basketball out of a hose (very true lmao)

After having cody i told everyone i was never ever having a child again as labour hurt like hell.... and now im ttc oh i cant wait lol

[~shazz~]

with my second i was going to my last clinic appt where i encountered the rudist weasel student doctor after a 3 hour wait we had parting words something to the effect
D: well i will be seeing you again next week maybe if you keep your sugar levels steady you might have this baby before then
Me : well lets bloody hope thats the case cause i so won't be seeing you again

guess who was rostered on when i went into spontaneuous(sp) labour
at one stage i had him by his tie and wouldn't let go till he got me an epidural which he promised then left the room my husband tells me he walked to the door way and stood just outside i ebded up delivering DS within 5 minutes of him leaving

oh i did loads of i hate you , it is your fault , don't laugh at me this i sso not bloody funny come closer i dare you come on .... to my DH who by the way swears not once did he laugh at me

[Jacqui]

The funniest thing in my labor is my addiction to the gas, and hubbys lack of understanding of the necessity it really is. Whilst I think its around 7- 9cm I prefer to begin sucking at the start, so I am off my face for the top....so to keep it close I was laying with it a few cms beside me on the pillow. (easy to grab)

Well my hubby dared to move it and tell me I needed a break from it as I was falling asleep. You can imagine my reaction.....grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

[LG]

I remember also telling my DH that i wouldn't be making "all that fuss and noise" - hmmm lol yeah right!
And when i first held Evan (a towel was around him) I asked "did anyone see his willy? Is it definately a boy?", and then i asked a few minutes later "did anyone notice the time?" - my mw replied "of course, what kind of MW do you think i am?!!" (she is a close family friend).
Oh and while i was pushing him out I couldn't focus on anything (hadn't had any pain relief so must've been that escatic birth hormone thing working) and DH kept saying to me "Linds, look at Julie (MW)" - he was trying to get me to focus - and i kept replying "I don't want to look at Julie!".

[kungfubecca]

these are fantastic. This thread is a must for everyone to read.

[Ozstar]

I hope I have some funny things to add to this thread very soon.

[Snowy Love]

About 3 hrs into labour I said "this better bloody be transition, cause I can't stand much more of this". He was born about 10 hrs later. Needless to say it wasn't transition. I wanted the pain to stop but it never occured to me to ask for drugs.

During the actual transition there was a lot of "I can't do this" and DH was nicely encouraging, later he said he was thinking well you've got no choice!

[Indadhanu]

Hahahaha, Willow PMSL

Well this wasn't my story (obviosuly lol) but my dad tells the story of mum, when giving birth to me, was having an internal and they must have done something that REALLY hurt, and she scaremed "get the f*#! away from there!" and kicked her in the chest - the mw was down for the count lol!

And then with my youngest bro (her last) she worked out how to use the gas (had never used it before!) about 10 minutes before my bro was born and continued after my bro was born until the mw snatched it out of her hands after my mum decided it would be hysterical to try and play "piggy in the middle" with the mask and the mw!!!!!

I've never been in labor, but something I say to DP is "If you faint when i'm giving birth, you'd better hope you stay there!". My SIL with 3 kids reckons, yep, thats just about right too!

[widdly]

i said heaps of starnge things when i had the gas before my epi and while being stitched up. I remember the anaethetist walked into the room and introduced himself to me and i kept giggling and calling him Scott Cam like it wwas the funniest thing anyone had ever said, his na,e wasn't Scott and he didn't look anything like Scott Cam....The midwife stopped my epi drugs a couple of hours before i started to push but i was reaking out over the pain so she got a hypnotist/anaethatist in to talk to me, he was amazing, when he turned to leave i grabbed his arm and told him i loved him.....When i was being stitched up i had a student watching ti and i kept teasing him cause he looked quite nervous (understandably) i was making quite crude jokes that were hilarious to me, i also laughed at the sound of my poor baby screming hysterically in the background, i remember taking the gas out f my noutha nd saying "you know you should stop sucking on the gas when you are laughing at the sound of your extremely distressed newborn baby" then i started sucking on the gas again. There were sooo many more strange things i said on gas but i can't think of them now.

[*star*]

While my friend was in labour her helpful DP fell asleep in the chair near the bed (well, it was a looong... labour!!). I don't know how she had the sense or the energy to do it (I certainly wouldn't have), but she picked up a shoe and chucked it at his head, telling him "If I can't sleep through this, neither can you!"

During my labour my dad rang the hospital (which really annoyed me, like we wouldn't tell him when we'd had the baby) and I told the lady to tell him to p*ss off- not language I would use in parents company! I'm sure she toned it down for him when she got back to the phone!

I also remember saying that I was lazy (after 20 odd hours of contractions!) and that I'm not very good at this, over and over again. To which the midwife and DH had to keep repeating that yes, I was doing fine, but I think it shocked me that the labour wasn't what I was expecting.

[Snowy Love]

Well this wasn't my story (obviosuly lol) but my dad tells the story of mum, when giving birth to me, was having an internal and they must have done something that REALLY hurt, and she scaremed "get the f*#! away from there!" and kicked her in the chest - the mw was down for the count lol!

That reminds me - when I had my only internal it hurt so much I wanted to kick the OB, and I thought I tried, but DH said I didn't. Message for you all, don't say yes to an internal unless absolutly necessary!

[AnyDream]

Sorry nothing funny happened in my labour (at all) - but I just wanted to say it warmed the ****les of my heart reading this thread. Thanks, everyone

[kungfubecca]

i hear you on the internal, i tried to shuffle up the bed away from the doc. the second internal i was 10cm dilated, couldn't feel her then, there was plenty of room!!!

[Evie76]

One of my m/w at our pre natal classes told me a funny one.

She said the woman, after many hours of labour and drugs, grabbed the m/w by the lapels and screamed in her face:

"I shouldn't have let you **** me!!"

The m/w took it in her stride. She says that the woman had no idea she had just said it and that for some reason she had mistaken her for the DH. I thought that was pretty funny.

I'm afraid I didn't say anything funny. I didn't find it to be a particularly amusing thing to be doing. But all of your stories are hilarious.

[paradise lost]

I begged for an epidural while i was in transition, but i guess that's pretty stock stuff.

When i lay down for my 2nd VE (DD was crowning) i felt her head with my hand and the midwife turned in surprise and said to the other midwife "Well! Fully dilated wouldn't you say?" with a smile and i, feeling the tips of DD's ears slowly oozing out of me said "Can you check!?" ROFL!

For any of you who went on YouTube to look at Birth 8 (talked about in the labour/birth montage thread), i showed it to XP yesterday and waited for him to be amazed. The only birth he's seen was DD's and he was very nonchalant - "you looked like that when DD was coming out, isn't that normal?" - i nearly fell off my chair! Apparently i was smiling and excited during crowning too - i sure didn't think i was!

Bx