"I l..o..v..e this shower." "Why the H*%% didn't anyone tell me how good hot water is before this?" "Hey do you rekon they have water restrictions?" "Get out of the shower you have got to be kidding" "No if you want to see how dilated my hooha is you can come in here!" "I don't care if I have my baby in the toliet, I'm not moving"
*Bribed with promises of gas and jelly beans* Get half way tpo the door
"Oh bugger this I want my water back"
*more bribery and DH leading me (quite forcefully) to the bed. Get on the bed
"F off I want my shower" - gas kicks in.
"Oh gas is good, I like the gas"
Trasition
midwife tells DH to tak the gas away inbetween contractions, we have a tug o war wife 1 husband 0
Midwife says we are nearly fully dilated "are you lying just to make me feel better?"
After birth
beautiful little girl on my chest while OB is checking everything and doing 1 or 2 stiches for grazes. I stare deep into my little girls eyes and say ever so sweetly "It's ok sweety, you're OK" as she cries "Don't worry at least someones not stiching up your twot"
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