Mel it is great you realise that you made a mistake with your model of care with your first birth but don't take on all the guilt yourself. You might have been naive and not known what you do now, but do you think if you went to the doctor and asked for some insulin to take (you don't need it, you just want it) or some methadone or an operation to have one leg made longer they would be so quick to grant that wish? No, they would not.

Only in obstetrics do doctors allow those who do not KNOW what they need to choose the option they really DO NOT need.

Bx