i'm going to tear....

[tellytubby]

Cheezel Monster woohoo!! you go girl! hahaha
that is AWESOME news!!! THank you for sharing
I need to hear things like this - makes me feel a lot more confident.
MWs are gems aren't they?? Filled with so much knowledge, i love em

[~Hestia~]

lol no worries.
Keep thinking those positive thoughts!!

[Arimeh]

Do you use an oil to help the massage? I don't have any here so thinking lube... ??

DH went to the health store and got some apricot kernel oil but you could use olive oil or water

I'll give him another shot at it tonight - if you do... LOL

Oh - and I was the one to PM Pixie chick about the book, I just got one off ebay - so there are a few others on there going off in the next few days. Check them out to see if someone is selling one near you, then you could just pick it up instead of waiting for delivery.

[~Gee_Whizzy~]

Thank-you ladies

the pixie and cookalooks - i'll definately keep an eye out for that book. Can you buy it in regular books stores do you know? Or is it really only online?? Just wondering cause i'm not sure how long it'll take to get them delivered if its only online. I got 4 birthing books at the start of this preg and they took 6 weeks!! (from the US tho and i got standard shipping). Sounds great tho, i love reading my books so i'm definately keen!

I got mine from Borders - you could also check your local library?

[Arcadia]

The oil I used was made up by my naturopath, but was essentially apricot kernel and avocado oil. I also really listened to my midwife when she told me to pant as I was crowning...I am actually glad we didn't get the birth pool set up in time, because my midwife was able to help me a lot more than if I was in water. That being said, I have heard water makes the whole area more stretchy...so...anyway. I am secretly in love with my midwife, so I am glad she helped me the way she did!

GL! And how exciting to be so pregnant! Now long now!!!

[Becs_bubs]

Becsbub - yeah great if you're not having a baby! haha. Even my DH commented something along the lines of "gee its nice and tight.. but you gotta get a baby out of there in a couple of weeks!". I'll try doing it backwards.. do you mean... doggy ??? hahaha omg!! Yep this thread is surely getting into some detail! Thank you for your kind words and support xx

LOL Yep, I meant doggy. I just didn't want to be the one to say it Good luck with it and I hope you have some fun out of it as well as a good stretch And you're most welcome

[Julie Doula]

Hi TT, I thought this excerpt from a birth story might encourage you:

Having had two c-sections and being told I could never expect to have a vaginal birth, I internalised the idea that I would never use my body in this way and that conditioning is hard to overcome. Also...well I don't know how else to put it, but a rather uncooperative vagina over the years, I was sure I would tear top to bottom. I tend to tear and bleed a little during normal vaginal sex, but I had an 11 pound 12 oz baby and no tears.

Pretty cool eh? Also Jenny Blyth's book Birthwork has some lovely stuff about looking after your vagina. When you do the perineal massage, you are not trying to 'force' your body to 'stretch more', it's more about confidence and awareness. So, let it be gentle and soothing, and notice when you are holding tension in your abdomen and chest. Then, use your breath to soften by gently exhaling ... letting the tension drop away as you exhale .... and you soften down there, too ... then you an gentley resume the massage. It's a great skill that works well for birth, too.

More info about preparing for an intact perineum here

I think a kneeling position or variation of it, in a birth pool, is the gold star standard for taking care of your perineum & vagina. This research talks about the kneeling position thing, the birth in water idea just comes from my own observations & experience.

[Evie76]

Look, I know this sounds weird but my second baby and the tearing has actually fixed the first tear.

I had DS1 and I tore - I was consequently stitched up and my vagina was never quite the same. I had a significant scar I could feel and it just wasn't right. With the birth of DS2 I was really worried because the stitch job on DS1 was pretty dodgy. What the heck was going to happen the second time?

As predicted, I tore with DS2, but..... the Dr who stitched me up with DS2 was an absolute master. I tore in exactly the same place and I've just about returned to the way I was before DS1 - it's pretty funny. He stitched me up so well. He took ages doing it, but I'm glad he did.

After two babies my vagina is back the way it was. Pretty odd actually.

PS. I told my dad who did the stitches and he said the same Dr stitched his hand back together after he drilled through it. I'd forgotten about that - Dad had always commented on what a good job he'd done on his hand.

[nellnell]

Look, I know this sounds weird but my second baby and the tearing has actually fixed the first tear.

I had DS1 and I tore - I was consequently stitched up and my vagina was never quite the same. I had a significant scar I could feel and it just wasn't right. With the birth of DS2 I was really worried because the stitch job on DS1 was pretty dodgy. What the heck was going to happen the second time?

OMG, me too

I was so stressed about tearing the second time around as it took me 12 months to feel comfortable DTD after DD's birth.

Well...my GP told me that tearing again would most likely fix my probs from first time around. I birthed in an all fours position with head down, MW had hot washer on peri to help and I panted the head out, only pushing the body as DS had his cord around his neck, and this is where I tore.

BUT saying that I felt amazing second time around, and have had NO discomfort and everything is fixed. DH and I even DTD 4 weeks after giving birth (funny as I waited about 20 weeks last time)

Good luck

[Evie76]

Glad it wasn't just me then nellnell.