I think that is a great idea!
and your family should definatly understand!
popping out a baby is no easy feat - and with bub number 2 you are going to need all the rest you can get!!!!
You can also let the midwives know that you dont want to many visitors and you dont want them there for long also! they are usually pretty good with that!
I had a big massive influx of visitors one afternoon after i had just managed to get Bianca settled with the help of a couple of midvives and when they all arrived i didnt want to tell them they couldnt pick her up for a cuddle - so the midwife did it for me! she was great - she looked like the meanie not me! but it worked no one picked her up and all were very quiet and didnt stay long!
Let us know how u go with the email! but dont worry too much - all will be fine!
I don't want this to come across rude, so please don't take it the wrong way.
After having James last time, I was just exhausted having him in the morning, and then having visitor after visitor all day.
So this time around I am asking that we please don't have visitors for the first day (Except James of course!!)
Then when you do come in, if you can please keep visits fairly short and before 6pm in the evening. i was just way too tired last time, and i don't want to come home exhausted again.
Sorry to sound mean, but I am going to be selfish and think about myself!!!
Hun, it's completely your decision! The time that you spend with your new bub and family is the MOST important thing- everyone else can wait!
Also, you shouldn't need to justify your reasons. But if you feel that you do, then your e mail is good. The midwifes at your hospital should also back you up 100%. Get them to come in and kick visitors out after 10 minutes or whatever you feel is reasonable.
It's up to YOU what you want to do and who you want to see. And if people do kick up a stink, then they are only thinking of themselves
Inform the nurses not to let anyone near your room without asking YOU first. Dont be afraid to disappoint people by politely declining any visits you dont want. And if they come round after you get out of hospital, keep the screen door locked so when they knock and your not wanting visitors, just open the door and say "Thanks for stopping by but you should have called. Nows not a good time for a visit but if you call me tomorrow we can organise a time. Thanks!"
Totally not unreasonable or selfish or ungrateful. I went through the exact same thing after a 23 hour labour but being awake for almost 48 hours. At one stage I had 15 people in my room and the nurse actually asked some people to leave (good on her !!!). I mouthed "thank you" to her.
My parents live three streets away but they never drop in unless calling first (after years of training them) but IL's live in the next suburb so they often drop in unannounced whenever they feel like it. I have a good relationship with them so I just told them that if they dont call first when this baby comes along, I wont be opening the door so they should save their petrol (they are misers) and call first. I'm hoping this works.
In the SMS this time, DH will just give all the stats and simply say "Will let you know when we are ready for visitors as Mum and Bub are resting". We learned our lesson the first time around .....
P.S. This might be a good topic to bring up in our Belly Buddies as this is something some first time mothers might not have thought of. I know I didnt.
Last edited by Deltadawn; January 28th, 2009 at 01:33 PM.
True DD, Whoever out of us is next in there should mention it.
Thanks everyone for your responses. I have sent out an email. So far DH's family haven't commented, but a few friends and my family have replied saying that they totally understand.
As I now live about an hour out of Melb, this time around I doubt that we will ahve drop ins here without a call first. We lived 8 mins from Melb at my old house. I will let DH's fam know if the phone is off the hook, it means no visits. They MUST call first.
Email sounds perfect!! Infact I may even borrow it for my second. My MIL, was horrendous!!(she usually is but this was the cream on the cupcake) I had a pretty awful birth with my DS and when she arrived the following day (he was born close to midnight) DH asked for 1/2 an hour even as DS and I had just fallen asleep and she went off her head and didn't speak to us for months after. I think for next time round if the expectations have already been set even before bubs arrives then no-one can get upset or expect any different, good on you for being so tactful. Babies bring out the best and worst in people. Good luck hope this birth goes as well as the first.
I do actually. A few friends have said to me that they think that I have done the right thing, but DH's family have not commented. I think that they feel they are immune and they will jsut show up anyway. DH is going to speak to them and make sure they realise it applies to them too.
but it worked no one picked her up and all were very quiet and didnt stay long!
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I had a pretty awful birth with my DS and when she arrived the following day (he was born close to midnight) DH asked for 1/2 an hour even as DS and I had just fallen asleep and she went off her head and didn't speak to us for months after. I think for next time round if the expectations have already been set even before bubs arrives then no-one can get upset or expect any different, good on you for being so tactful. Babies bring out the best and worst in people. Good luck hope this birth goes as well as the first.
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