I felt exactly the same way and there were many arguments before my DD arrived which just added to my stress levels......ggggrrrr still makes me mad!

In the end we decided not to tell anybody when I went into labour as my ILs were planning on waiting at the hospital while I was in labour. I was not having that happen!!! My DD was born at 9pm and we didn't phone anybody until the next morning. Yes you guessed it, there were some very upset rellies but they got over it. I also wanted time with my newborn and time to sleep/rest etc etc. Also it can be daunting starting to bf for the first time and I wanted a little time on my own with DH and midwives to help me!

I was in hospital for 4 days and we allowed close family to come on the second day, all other family/friends visited us when we were settled in at home. THis suited us as we have a large family and I didn't want them all showing up and crowding my hospital room.

Good luck, its your decision and you should do what makes you feel comfortable.