I had said I didn't want anyone knowing I was in labour, but then I had an induction immediately after a check up with my OB. Mum knew I had the appointment so I had to tell her I was being induced. If she had waited in the waiting room she would have been waiting for 35 hours - tell your ILs that!!! We called MIL and my mum about an hour after DD was born (10.15pm) and invited them to visit the next day. DH's sisters were told (via MIL) to come only in the early evening and WITHOUT their childern (5 boys under 8 between them). Needless to say, I was furious when they all showed up with their children at about 3.30 pm. My parents and grandmother live 150kms away so its not as if they could just pop in and I was so angry that our wishes (DH agreed with me) were ignored, and that my folks had to share their precious time with their granddaughter. If it happens again this time, I'll be far less polite than I was with DD!! I ended up at one point with 11 adults and 5 children visiting all at the one time
I think at the end of it it doesn't matter if you actually are being unreasonable (and I don't think you are being unreasonable at all). Its your baby, your labour and your new family and whatever you want should be accepted by everybody. Like the others have said, I would be leaving instructions with the hospital staff that no visitors were to be admitted until you told them otherwise.
After my DD was born, I had all the IL's arrive for a visit. I had had an emergency c/section after a long labour and wanted some sleep, but they all decided to visit asap. The midwife was pretty peeved that so many had come at once, and she said that as DD's temp was low, she didn't want any of them unwrapping her or they would put DD in the special care nursery for a day! I was that tired that I could see the IL's unwrapping DD, but couldn't say anything.
They all wanted to stay around and watch me have needles in my leg, and my second breastfeed as well. It was horribly overwhelming for me, and I've learnt from it now.
I've already told DH that they are NOT to visit on the first day, I will let them know when they can visit, how many and for how long. If they don't like it, then they will not be welcome. I've told my family this as well and they are fine with it, just have to tell the IL's in a few months
It's your body, your life, your child and they may not like what you say or do, but they should respect it. Honestly I'd be worried that if they are being disrespectful now, what will they be like in the future?
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