Hi!

From experience, some men do not handle their partner in pain very well. the last thing you need is your only support person passed out in the corner. It is very much worth having someone you can trust and are comfortable with in the room for added support. You will need to be comfortable being naked infront of them though. The amount of back rubbing I had throughout both of my labours, I needed an extra support person, DH couldnt rub hard enough for long enough, and I had short labours! On the other end of the spectrum, you could have a long labour and need DH to have some sleep while you are labouring, and you definitely dont want to be alone hun. That is when choice is taken away because you dont have someone there standing up for your rights, and when you are in pain logical thought is impossible.

I loved having visitors. I was bored the day that noone came to see us! Visitors kept my mind active while my babies slept, and i was sleeping quite well considering. If you feel like visiotrs, invite them. If you dont, then tell them to go away! Maybe the best option will be visitor by invite only, and ask the midwives to announce each visitor and always keep your door shut.

With first pregnancies and births you never know what will happen, so keep your options open. Chose standby support people and tell them that when you go into labour if you need more support they will be called, but if you are coping fine with just you and DH then you will let them know once bub is born. I know I will be telling people my EDD is 2 weeks later next time, I got so sick of the calls and messages! The best way to answer those is 'Dont worry I will tell you when the baby is born'

If there are no friends of family that you know and trust enough to have there, maybe consder a doula. If I was a long way from my family (my mum and I are very close) then I would hire a douls or fly mum up to where ever we are for a month just to make sure I had the support I need.

Please ask your DH if he thinks seeing you in a lot of pain may get too much for him, and if it might, then make sure you have backup support.

Remember, this is YOUR baby, YOUR pregancy, and YOUR birth. Only YOU have the right to make final decisions and if anyone doesn't respect them, they are very selfish and dont deserve to be told anything at any time. Visiting a new mum and baby is a priveledge, not a right. Make your choices known now, and if you change your mind that is your perogative, but do not let anyone force you to do something you dont want. RESEARCH everything, knowledge is power.

Allow people to have their offer to help in any way, and tell them you will let them know what they can do. For mum and MIL this might be making a freezer full of meals for when you get home and those times when you dont get a chance to cook. Make lists of all the things you would like help with and tell people that if they want to help they can do..... and once they have been helpful they then may get the priveledge to have baby cuddles, but only if they are really helpful. there is nothing worse than people who dont do anything but get in the way and make you feel uncomfortable.

Hope these ideas are some help for you hun. Being organised to begin with sets you up for an easier time once bubs is here. teach DH how to use the washing machine and make sure he does a load each day before he gets to the hospital, then you will have clean undies to come home to