SJ, here's my retrospective birth and baby plan.

No bugger is going to know I'm pregnant.

I'll have this baby at home, on my terms. Without bullying from family and health "professionals".

You can hear that there's a new baby ONLY when I want to to visit.

As your family already know you're expecting, just don't tell them the baby is here until you want visitors. And tell people you're doing that.

You have no right to know I'm pregnant, in labour, or have had a baby. It's a secret. And why? Because all your opinions and un-announced visits (in-laws only) and criticisms annoyed me too much with DS.

I didn't want visitors - before OR after the birth (don't believe it when people say you WILL change your mind when you have a baby - I didn't). Thankfully DS slept for the hospital visits so everyone left fairly quickly!