OK so the workmate has some issues - that's just plain NOT normal. I'd be telling her to back off quick smart.

As for everyone else, if they are going be so pushy about it and mortally offended if you don't have them there, I wouldn't tell them you're in labour. I'd just ring them after it's over and say the way things happened you didn't have time/feel the need to be calling people. End of story.

Knowing that there are people outside waiting for you to have your baby is akin to knowing that there is someone standing outside the toilet cubicle waiting for you to finish...ie not very conducive to you getting the business done. It's added pressure and stress that you don't need, and you will be aware of it whether you're conscious of it or not. If it does end up that they're there, get the midwives to move them on - they will be happy to be the bad guys and no one will even know that you asked them to do it.

As for support people actually in the birthing room - again, this is not about anyone else's feelings and anyone who makes you feel that it is, is not interested in what you need or want. And the LAST thing you want is anyone in there who does not support your goals. Women are so open to suggestion in labour, and the effect that someone unsupportive can have when you get in the thick of it can be crushing. So put your foot down and tell them it will be you and Shell only. Trust me they will get over it