Support people and waiting outside the birth suite... is this normal?

[leebee81]

I'm with the "don't tell" camp. I told hubby if he called anyone while I was in labour I'd kill him. I was so determined to have this baby my way (ie, give it the best possible shot I could at going drug free) and I knew if I had people waiting I'd get stresses out and anxious and I didn't want that. I ended up ok'ing him letting the IL's know I was in labour, but only because a) I get along with them really well and b) I knew they weren't going to turn up until we gave the ok.

Personally, I wasn't comfortable with anyone but my husband and my midwife being there. The idea of my mum, MIL, best mate, workmate (?!) watching me, gawking at my vagina, etc freaks me out even now. Plus, I would have felt pressured to moderate my behaviour because there was company. I'd consider your partner your support person and ditch everyone else. You don't even have to tell them they are ditched, just don't tell them you are in labour.

[Antheia]

I wouldn't tell them until after bub is born either. Another reason why i am reluctent to tell people my due date. They always ring to ask if i've had the baby yet.

[Phteven]

I wouldn't tell them until after bub is born either. Another reason why i am reluctent to tell people my due date. They always ring to ask if i've had the baby yet.

OMG those phone calls are sooo annoying - I stopped answering any calls from certain people near the end of my second pregnancy.

[tan32]

I have a couple of girl friends that have suggested that they will be there, I have just been laughing it off, at the moment the only people that will be told that we are heading to hospital are my parents and Dh, my Mum will be my extra support person and my dad is watching our other 2. Everyone else will be sent a text after bub has arrived and i have had chance to settle, no body else including my parents will hold bub until his sister and brother have held him. I want them to feel special and a room full of adults pushing them out the way is the last thing i want.

[The[cookie]Doctor]

I have to say I'm still in disbelief that other family member think they can make this experience about them. They've had/will have their chance.
There is nothing more overwhelming, precious than becoming a mother/father (or as tan says, brother/sister) and you should be able to enjoy that.

It is 'special' to become a grandparent.
It is a 'label' to become an aunt or uncle.
It is 'exciting' when a colleague has their baby.
None of these people have any RIGHT.

It is your decision to make that baby, and because you have it makes them lucky to have it as a part of their lives, therefor privelege!
But when you have created, carried and birthed that baby.
You are the only one with that RIGHT.

Just the way it is your right to name that child.

Gosh this makes me fume, seriously, where do they get off?

Off my soapbox now.

[Indadhanu]

Still haven't worked any of this out. Am not feeling the best emotionally and then Shel told me last night I have to be the one to tell everyone again. GRRRRRR! Geez,, way to make me feel bad, not only did I have to tell my mum no, now I have to get my inlaws offside (surely they'd take it better from Shel but NOOOOOOOOOOOOO she doesn't want to upset anyone).

Ahem... just a few dramas. I like the 'don't tell' idea, it makes it easy, I can just make out like they're welcome and then not tell anyone. Unless of course I have to call Shel away from work and then it'll be game on.
Oh, I forgot to add this last time but remember that bleed scare I had, well SIL was about to come down to the hospital when we were leaving, and Shel's workmate was going to come with her from work (I had to call Shel from work). So I have no doubt if I have to call Shel away that she'll be followed by a chaotic (psychotic) entourage.

So I'm no closer to finding an answer, except to put a few peoples noses out of joint.

I guess I could try to hold off going to hospital until afternoon so I don't call Shel from work ... and preferrably a Friday cos Shel has Sat/Sun off so it won't be so suspicious if she doesn't turn up at work the next day. I'm not asking too much am i????

Or hiring Lulu's bouncer services!!!!!

[Lulu]

Booked you in for August sweetie.

I had the same thing, a friend was so insistent, she made me promise everytime I saw her that I would call "as soon as you feel anything". Well I didn't and I even got a midwife to call her after it was over and tell her it went so quickly I didn't have to chance to explain it.

Can Shel leave work on an errand and just not come back?

[Isadora]

Oh Leasha, I feel for you, and this whole issue really annoys me like crazy too. I agree, dont tell anyone that you are in labour. I know from experience, next time around we wont be telling our families or will at least be asking for 24 hrs to ourselves as suggested before having visitors. We had everyone waiting outside the birthing room too and let me tell you its not nice at all. My MIL took it upon herself to spend two whole days with me and my new baby and didnt even leave in the non visiting hours. It was ridiculous and if I could give any new parents some advice it would be keep the family/visitors away until you have recovered. I would hate what happened to me to happen to you. Its your time, and your partners time, to get to know your new precious bundle. I hope you can sort it all out.