my wonderful labour and then trauma after birth * Very Long!*

[Bun]

Wow, what a story, thank you for sharing with us. You did an amazing job birthing your little girl and I hope you are recovering well xx

[CeCe]

Dusty,

Thank you for sharing your birth story. You did an amazing job with your support team. Good on your DH standing up for you too when it was needed. There are similarities between my experience and yours, unfortunately the post-natal ward is one of them. I'm here if you want to talk about it. I'm glad you can separate it from your birth experience though. You did a fantastic job.

[dusty]

It was great to get it written up, helps me remember and to also debrief. I'm sorry Malyna and Ce that you had similar issues in the post natal ward . I'm going to be making a formal complaint.

Your comments and similar experiences makes me realise that we don't always hear the 'real' stories behind birth. In fact my IRL friends really hadn't shared too much beforehand but were able to after as it turns out they had some similar issues that I was clueless to at the time. Why do we keep these things secret or unspoken?

I thought labour was absolutely fantastic! The birth part happened kind of quick and I realise I didn't have much control by then and was in others' hands really. Communication broke down, and it was an intense time. The best thing though was DD was fine and she benefited from the experience, being as healthy as she could be. I am so grateful I could give her that.

No one has commented on DD firstly being declared a boy and then minutes later a girl It still cracks me up that I got that so wrong even when presented with the obvious evidence.

What I didn't add to my story is that my fear of syntocin was unfounded, as I'd given my body the best chance to be primed for labour and when it just never got going spontaneously, I had it all ready (fully engaged, dilated etc) to just be pushed along by the syntocin. Active labour was also a key to it progressing so well (for me at least) and I think it helped that my MW took it really gradually and monitored my response so closely. She hardly left me the whole time. In fact she stayed long into the night meaning she did a 15 hour shift to help us birth, long over her allowed time. I'm so grateful to her.

I didn't once think to ask for drugs, and as per my birth plan no one offered them to me. Labour for me was intense, hugely intense physically and emotionally but not painful. Releasing and going with it as I'd prepared myself to do, really really helped as did an awesome supportive birth team. From my experience I can recommend getting all the help you feel you can muster that will benefit and support you. Truly an incredible and special experience. Thanks for letting me share

[Mum2SweetCs]

That is a beautifully written birth story!

Enjoy your gorgeous daughter!!!

ETA: ehheh yeh i was laughing at how you thought DD was a boy!!!

[Deedles]

Oh gosh what a truly amazing Birthing experience.
You did such a wonderful job birthing your daughter and WOW, you are so strong!!

[CeCe]

I did chuckle at declaring a boy first, but then the rest of your story carried me away from that. I had no idea you had that much trouble after birth and as for the post-natal ward, I was just hoping it was my experience and not wide spread. Thankfully I had DH who rallied the birth cente MW's and met with the head of post-natal who herself apologised and said the sooner they got us home the safer we'd be! Thank you for sharing though - I'm still processing the part of my experience.

[dusty]

Your DH did well Ce. We were forced to spend an extra night against my wishes (I would have had to voluntarily sign myself out). I didn't have the BC support because my 'real' MW was away that weekend, and the rest of the BC staff were busy and short staffed. Hence no one looked after DD and I. In fact we didn't see anyone from the BC until day 3 & I think the PN people thought the BC were looking after us, and I wasn't told about what happened or my injuries by a doctor until the 2nd day on PN.

BTW you can fill out a feed back form online at the hospital website and apparently they have to follow it up. Looks like we should catch up soon to debrief and play with each other's bubs. So funny your DS arrived before DD

[Trillian]

I guess we don't talk about it for a few different reasons - thinking that those listening might not want to hear so much detail, or that they are still processing it themselves. I know some people IRL who are quite up for talking about all the 'gory' details and others who view birth simply as a process you go through to get a baby and would rather not go into details. Also too I think that some dismiss what happens to them because they think that it is part and parcel of giving birth so there is no point saying anything for fear of being seen as complaining kwim? Like the whole 'at least bubs is healthy' thing. And how many birth stories do you read on here that mention they poo'ed on the bed? I think I have only read one in all my years being on here. I know I didn't include it in mine because I didn't think it was necessary to add, even though I know I'm not the only woman who's done it LOL.

[dusty]

Trill I guess I'm one of these people that processes things by talking them through. Good point that not everyone would find this the way to deal with issues, something for me to be mindful of. Being a LTer I've had some guilty feelings that I shouldn't be talking about these things and be grateful for the end result but I figure even after my journey to get here, my experience is still one that was real and something I need to acknowledge and process.

Thanks for your perspective, and on the poo side I think I might of but no one told me LOL. Cause when I asked for the mirror at crowning my MW delayed by cleaning something up down there. I didn't think to ask but assumed at the time that's what it was. It didn't bother me one bit cause I'd kind of expected from talking with my doula and mum that it would happen. Hence the talking about it before prepared me for it at the time.

[Visitor7]

Dusty, thank you so much for sharing. You went through such a rollercoaster to conceive her, only to then get on another rollercoaster to bring her into this Earth. And you should be very proud of your achievements.
You are very right about people not telling the whole story. My sister said this recently when she had her DS. She asked me why I never told her exactly what birth and post birth is like. I told her that people don't want to hear the negatives. If they did, they'd probably be too scared to have kids lol.
Well done to you and your dh on bringing such a beautiful little girl into this world.

ETA:

how many birth stories do you read on here that mention they poo'ed on the bed? I think I have only read one in all my years being on here. I know I didn't include it in mine because I didn't think it was necessary to add, even though I know I'm not the only woman who's done it LOL.

You know, I have never even asked if I pooed in labour. It never even occured to me, lol.

[Trillian]

LOL Dusty, that may have been the time. It's a tricky one and I don't know what the solution is to addressing it so that those of us who want to talk are about to without worry of having someone think we're total loons for talking about it so much. I'm all for talking these things over because you just never know who might benefit from having the conversation with you kwim? But this reminds me of the episode of The Librarians when Christine is having her baby and she says to Francis "Why doesn't anyone tell you about this?" when she's mid contraction and Francis says "No one tells you anything Christine, that's why it keeps happening"

[onthefly]

I think there are lots of reasons we don't share so much.
Sometimes maybe we just don't want to face it ourselves.
I don't like mentioning the forceps (IRL at least) because that becomes the focus (possibly that's just my perception). But honestly that wasn't the worst part by a long shot.

Anyway, I hope you're being better cared for now Dusty And don't feel guilty - with things like birth, the end result and the process are almost entirely separate things.

[Jaycee]

What a fantastic birth story! I'm sorry you had such a traumatic experience post birth, I hope you're recovering well now

[Tegam]

wow what a read. Sounds like a lovely birth. I am so happy that you can separate the two events!

I know your recovery has been long but i hope you are feeling some what better now, 8 weeks on??

Welcome to the world little Freya! You will never know how many of us awaited your birth for your beautiful mummy!

[dusty]

I know your recovery has been long but i hope you are feeling some what better now, 8 weeks on??

Welcome to the world little Freya! You will never know how many of us awaited your birth for your beautiful mummy!

Aww thanks Tegam. Am feeling MUCH better now thanks. I've finally thrown all the uterine infections and had some further stitches removed so everything seems to be healing and I can even drive and carry the baby capsule now so watch out world here we come . Freya has to be fitted with a hip brace soon so we are delaying baby wearing for a few more months otherwise nothing will stop us.

[Jennifer13]

Dusty, you brought Freya into the world so fantastically well!

Sounds like it's all a bit of a mystery as to why it got so hairy, but I'm so glad you now have your little girl home with you. I hope you heal well and the care you now get is much, much better.

[chepie]

Wow babe you are amazing and congrats on the birth of your beautiful girl!! So lovely to read that your MW supported you all the way through - I had a beautiful MW from the BC in Canberra too, who helped me achieve an amazing birth.... but I am so sorry to read that your care on the ward was terrible after everything you went through, hope that you and family are all doing well and you are enjoying being a wonderful muma xxx

[megs]

What a well written Birth Story.

Congratulations on the birth of your special little girl and what a beautiful name.

I too am sorry to hear that you had such a rough time afterwards and hope that the recovery goes well.