Maintaining milk after weaning

[~ Mylitta ~]

I must admit that I feel the same as Shades. As someone who is still breastfeeding a toddler over 2 as well as a baby, I guess I just can't imagine wanting to wean one of my children if I were still wanting to maintain a milk supply for another person. I've been a milk donor a few times and I've thought about further into the future and possibly maintaining a supply after my babies have self-weaned in order to continue to donate, but for me personally I am happy to keep breastfeeding my children as long as they want to. I'm not judging the original poster though, it's her child and her body so it's her choice completely.

The best way to maintain the supply though would be to continue to breastfeed your 14 month old though, so perhaps that's something you might re-consider, both for your child and for you husband?

[milkmaid]

The way I read it, her daughter is 14 months and she wants to wean her. Like many people do when their child reaches a similar age. She still wants to have milk for her hubby though, and is concerned that weaning the baby will mean a drop in milk (which it will). I don't think the intention is to wean the daughter to accommodate the husband?

This is exactly correct. Above all, my little girl has, and will always come first. My husband and I have never enjoyed each other at the expense of our babies well being. We share a special relationship but only after our babies needs are fully satisfied.

It just feels like it is now time. Our little girl is well developed, eating solids and has for the last few months shown a declining lack of interest in breastfeeding. Our other children were also weaned at just over 12 months when showing similar attitudes. I would have no problem in continuing to breastfeed our daughter for as long as she was showing interest. I have thoroughly enjoyed breastfeeding all our children and have struggled to wean each time, not because they were not ready - but because I was enthusiastic to continue.

Thank you also to the forum mods for deleting those previous two comments, I found them a little hurtful and for the most part just plain unnecessary.

[Rouge]

I think you have your priorities back to front. Most people ween because they themselves are over breastfeeding. That can't be the case or you wouldn't be feeding your husband. Your husband doesn't need it. It's just a fetish for you both (and tbh as such doesn't really suit this part of the forum as it is sexualising breastfeeding) but WHO recommends BF till 2. Surely your Childs feeding needs come before a sexual fetish?

[Asparagus and Lemons]

Everybody does it different, my health nurse told me to wean dd at one and more to formula, she said most purple do that, but meh, dd and I will wean w when we think the time is right.
In this case its 14 months, and well done for getting that far.
Not everyone is going to think its cool, I don't think that its sexuallising breast feeding completely, depends which way you look at it.
This is what my husband says to me
Breast feeding a baby - normal I don't get off on that, I don't see anything sexual about it. But when you stand naked in front of me, I want to caress you, squeeze your bum, suck your boobs, touching you in every way possible.

So just because she breast feeds d does not mean her husband has to stay away from them. And if they are making milk, well that just makes it more interesting.
But I totally see the other pov, this is just another way to look at it.

[milkmaid]

I think you have your priorities back to front. Most people ween because they themselves are over breastfeeding. That can't be the case or you wouldn't be feeding your husband.

So how are my priorities back to front? You already stated most people wean because they have had enough of breastfeeding their child, in my example this is not the case and if you read my posts this should have been obvious. I would be delighted to continue breastfeeding my girl if it were not for her showing signs that she is loosing interest. Sharing my breasts with hubby has absolutely nothing to do with weaning my daughter, the two are totally unrelated in every possible way.

You may well be correct that this topic does not belong in this section of the forum and for this I apologise (although when nursing my husband it is more emotional and spiritual for both of us rather than a sexual fetish), but I suspect the motivation for your post has more to do with you judging the situation rather than having any real genuine interest in the well being of my little girl.

[Shades]

I think the confusion has come about because on one hand you are saying you're happy to continue feeding your daughter as long as she wants, but on the other hand you're talking about making a decision to drop the number of feeds she has - if you're honestly going to feed her as long as *she* wants then shouldn't *she* be the one deciding when to drop that feed? If she is indeed losing interest then she'll stop that feed of her own accord - no intervention required from you.

[Miss E]

I've been following this thread with interest... I want to start by saying I have no judgements about you wanting to continue breastfeeding your hubby - I see it like anything else in life, whatever turns you on (excuse the pun).

So how are my priorities back to front? You already stated most people wean because they have had enough of breastfeeding their child, in my example this is not the case and if you read my posts this should have been obvious. I would be delighted to continue breastfeeding my girl if it were not for her showing signs that she is loosing interest. Sharing my breasts with hubby has absolutely nothing to do with weaning my daughter, the two are totally unrelated in every possible way.

But I have to wonder why you aren't planning on continuing to breastfeed your daughter if you would be 'delighted' to, as you say. Ok so she may be showing signs of loosing interest (a lot of little ones do at that time)... But does that mean you need to force weaning upon her? Surely if you were delighted to continue breastfeeding her you would give her the time and space she needs to self wean. Whether that be a matter of weeks, months or years...

Reading between the lines, I can't help but wonder if your breastfeeding relationship with your daughter has been damaged by you establishing one with your husband. It seems that the breastfeeding relationship with your husband now takes priority over the one with your daughter. So much so that if one of them needs to go without you feel that it is most appropriate that it is your daughter who misses out.

Yes many mothers wean at around the 12 month mark. There's nothing wrong with that, it's a great effort. But in most cases they choose to wean because of work commitments, they're sick of feeding, don't have time, whatever. Based on what you've written it seems that you're also choosing to wean because you are sick of feeding your daughter (nothing wrong with that, especially after 14 months)... I can understand that to some degree, but I do feel that the reason you've come to this conclusion is because you now prioritise breastfeeding in an adult relationship over that of the mother baby relationship, and to me that is sexualising it. Not saying there's anything wrong with it... but I guess the point I'm trying to make is why not just come out and admit it?

And I guess the other question I have to ask is - if you found out that by weaning your daughter your milk supply would drop dramatically and eventually dry up (meaning you could no longer feed your husband) would you continue breast feeding your daughter?

[FabFiona]

I'm with Rouge.

I also think this is a troll post. Milkmaid only joined BB the day prior to this post. It's a pretty personal and potentially controversial first post in a pro-breastfeeding forum that encourages infant led weaning.


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[Loveinamist]

I agree with FabFiona

[Teeki]

While I can see FabFiona's point that this could be a troll post - the name, only just joining, the controversial topic, it could also be that someone is genuinely looking for help and so joined to ask this specific question.

If this is the case, my answer is that I don't think she's trying to force her DD to wean. She's stated that her DD is showing signs of losing interest, but would like to continue otherwise. I think she's simply asking how to keep her supply up if and when her DD weans. Getting the info before it happens so that she's prepared. And hey, if her DD decides to keep feeding, then life continues exactly as it is now.

That's my take anyway.

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[Miss E]

If this is the case, my answer is that I don't think she's trying to force her DD to wean. She's stated that her DD is showing signs of losing interest, but would like to continue otherwise. I think she's simply asking how to keep her supply up if and when her DD weans. Getting the info before it happens so that she's prepared. And hey, if her DD decides to keep feeding, then life continues exactly as it is now.

I think if that was the intention, nobody would be questioning it... But she did post this, which pretty much says the opposite.

I have decided to start weaning our baby next week and will reduce her feedings down to a single midday feed. Being in the middle of the day will even out my daily milk demand as best as I can. I think I will continue with a single feed to baby for for a few weeks or even a month and keep a close eye on my milk. My husband will continue to feed and suckle as usual twice daily during this time and hopefully he will continue to receive an adequate supply. If all goes well after a month or so then hubby will begin to exclusively nurse from me. I would very much like to be able to spend more daily sessions nursing my husband but this is just not possible with him working full time plus having other younger children at home. Having young children at home is the main reason I don't feel comfortable pumping.

[Teeki]

Ah yep, good point, I missed that.

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[milkmaid]

I have been reading these forums for some time and chose not to participate because I had nothing to contribute, or was already able to find answers to past questions I had over the years. Yes, I only just joined a few days ago because I wanted some help in facing a unique situation and found little to nothing online to guide me. As for the name milkmaid, this is the playful name my husband gave me and was the first thing I thought when asked for a username.

Most responses are starting to head down the path of analysis, trying to see more in my comments and motivation than was ever meant to originally exist. I have already tried to express my priorities as clear as I am able, that being the welfare of my daughter, but the challenges continue and I suspect this due almost entirely to the underlying theme of my post.

As for being a troll, I will now choose not participate any further in this thread or others, this is probably the best option considering this accusation and I consider myself mature enough to walk away rather than have the negatives bring everyone including myself down. Thank you to those who took their time to offer genuine and understanding advice.

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

Isn't it milkmaid's choice who she breastfeeds and how much? I'm pretty sure none of the women in here would be saying these things if she was choosing to wean and utilise formula instead, even if it was just because she wanted to. Why is she being judged at all, when in any other section of the forum it's a crime to judge another person?

And since when is it appropriate to publicly call a member a troll based on a single thread?!

Milkmaid, I'm sorry you feel you need to leave BB over this. This is not the 'standard' response I've found on BB, I hope that it doesn't turn you off forever

[Lisa]

Isn't it milkmaid's choice who she breastfeeds and how much? I'm pretty sure none of the women in here would be saying these things if she was choosing to wean and utilise formula instead, even if it was just because she wanted to. Why is she being judged at all, when in any other section of the forum it's a crime to judge another person?

And since when is it appropriate to publicly call a member a troll based on a single thread?!

Milkmaid, I'm sorry you feel you need to leave BB over this. This is not the 'standard' response I've found on BB, I hope that it doesn't turn you off forever

I have been reading this and meaning to comment for a while but have not got around to it.
Milkmaid, I am so sorry that some have made you feel uncomfortable. Not everyone on BB is like this.

Why is it that Milkmaid is being questioned over her want to wean her child and keep her milk supply going? How is this any different to those who continue to express and donate their milk after they have weaned their child? Obviously time restraints, life and things in general have a lot to do with why mothers wean their children, not just because they are over breastfeeding. Milkmaid's child is 14 months old, not 4 months. I would be so proud to make it to 14 months breastfeeding my baby. I am sure if she came in here saying that she wished to keep her milk supply so she could donate her milk (which she is kinda doing) she would have been praised and encouraged. Who are any of you to judge this persons decisions and choices?

Where are the open minds and love that Bellybelly once had?

[littlelara]

I could be wrong but I think it may be the way the posts have been framed? I'm the last person to judge another, but some of the posts have left me feeling a bit uncomfortable

[~clover~]

Sorry, I wasn't going to post here, I also think this was thread may've been to cause trouble, but I have a question...

You feel comfortable having your husband feed from you with young children in the house, yet you aren't comfortable with those same children seeing you use a breast pump?

Do you feel comfortable with your children seeing their father do this? I personally hope not, but I don't understand why pumping would be more of an issue?

I dunno, I don't really get any of it.

[meow]

I call troll.