my baby arrived two weeks over due date and in cirumstances i woudln't wish on anyone, i'm still trying to come to terms with that (she's 15 months old now).

i really liked being pregnant and didn't want it to end on some levels.

I joined some mother's groups before my bub arrived, and i actually felt the pressure to formula feed more than breastfeed. It seemed everywhere i looked, new mums were FF-ing, not BF-ing. I felt my desire to BF was seen as "different". I tried to get BF educations and went along to the local ABA group too.

Once i had my baby, i fought for the right to give her her first drink, the hospital were into FF, so that was a battle. We did breastfeed in hospital for the five days i was there, but it was so confusing, every midwife on every shift, had a different set of advice for me.

i can honestly say that breastfeeding felt like having my nipple stapled for the first four months, i desperately needed my dh's support cos it was so hard to keep going.

We are at 15 months breastfeeding now, and i have not taken ANY of those days for granted, i am grateful for every single day i have been able to feed her, cos IT IS SO NOT EASY. It did get easier after four months, but that seemed like a really long time to me.

Getting information on positions is good (from the ABA).

Having a consistent place to ask is good.

But there are so many things you need to do as a mum, and all of our circumstances are different, bottom line is baby needs nourishment, and you need your sanity. Do what you need to do, if the desire to breastfeed is still in you, keep it in mind. My midwife told me it's possible to relactate even a few months after not breastfeeding, so don't feel like you're closing the door forever, if you decide to stop for the moment.

i also had it in my head that the world would stop turning if i DIDN"T breastfeed (pressure i put on myself). After the labour was such a disaster, i felt EVEN MORE compelled to breastfeed, to somehow "make it up" to my DD for having let her down in the arrival department.

i didn't feel the bonding happen immediately either. All i could think of is "you nearly died".

My baby took a VERY long time to learn how to smile. I took that as a punishment to me, that i failed her by the labour being so traumatic. When really, it was just an individual baby taking a long time to learn how to smile. So our postnatal depression can interprete things that are perfectly normal, as bad things.

it's so hard, your hormones are all over the shop, your body has just been thru a huge event, it a Big Gig to have a baby.

hugs to you, whatever you do, you won't let your bub starve, that's what matters, you're looking after her needs, you love her and in time WILL bond with her, but it will take time. Give yourself that. You're still getting over the shock of the earlier than expected birth.

the Early Daze are so hard for many of us. I felt like EVERY OTHER MUM was coping better than me, but behind closed doors, i reckon MANY mums freak out after baby has arrived. it's just not talked about much.