Thanks for all the replies. I like the feed at wake up time idea...it might help the weaning process. I am also aware breastfeeding is a seriously awesome tool for settling an overtired cranky pants, and it let's me nap in the day too! I suspect she would drop day naps if I weaned her.

The toilet thing seems obvious, but she's so stubborn and loves her potty! It makes her independent, and it helps me in some ways because I don't have to put the baby down to help her on the loo. Maybe I should look at those step things that go over the toilet?

I really think it's the contrast between toddler wants and a newborns needs...even the way she sucks and drags on the nipple drives me bonkers sometimes. I always take something to read while I feed her so I'm distracted.

I just want that beautiful positive relationship back...