Caesarean General Chatter & Discussion #8

[ticklish]

Hi,

Just introducing myself in here. I have just had my second c-section and been driven up the wall with insensitive comments - why does that happen?

Charmalea - I fully understand your wish to labour. My second c-section was a result of a failed VBAC. First was elective with no labour. I much preferred labouring before the c-section. It was and is a lot harder to recover from both a labour and a c-section but I don't regret trying for the VBAC. Just in relation to your plan for internals at 38 and 39 weeks and something to think about - my 40 week check-up revealed that my cervix was not ripe and nowhere near ready - nevertheless went into spontaneous labour 2 days later so you can never really tell even if things don't appear ready. Personally, I think waiting for an internal until your due date is sensible instead of worrying about it too early. I was booked in for an elective c-section a week later because of the unripeness of the cervix but luckily my body had other ideas - although the VB didn't happen in the end. Hope this helps. Feel free to PM me if you want to chat more about it.

Mummatotwo - I understand the sadness of your decision for a repeat c-section. I too have strong opinions on VB but have never been able to achieve it. I firmly believe that every mother should be supported in her birthing choices no matter what decision she makes, so long as she is fully informed. I agree that the term elective is just so wrong. It implies a choice that we don't always have. I was bullied into the c-section first time round and given inaccurate information but they still called it elective!! Hope you find support for a maternal assisted c-section.



TICKLISH

[Beach Mama]

Mummatotwo- Im sorry about your hospital not being supportive hun. My VBAC will be 16 1/2 mths after I had my DD by emergency c/s and the hospital I am going to is supportive - they have said the risk of scar rupture is a TEENY bit higher but nothing significant or anything to worry about so it's interesting that they won't let you even attempt to labour. There isn't even any research done - most hospitals suggest 18mths gap but even then, people have vbac'd sucessfully with less of a gap. Is it too late to look at going elsewhere? Is that possible for you? I know it is late but it might very well be worth it if it means you avoid unecessary major surgery.

Sorry to hijack ladies!

Charmalea - I totally understand you wanting to at least labour hun. Having a c/s when you don't want or plan one takes away so much from birthing mums. Is there a reason why your c/s is being booked in before 40 weeks or even later? As Ticklish mentioned your cervix may show no signs of being ready but then a few days later it might? I was overdue with Iz and at my check up at 41 weeks my cervix showed NO signs of softening or effacing, hence why I was induced (wrong decision by me) a few days later. My hospital want to book me in at 40 weeks for my c/s if I haven't gone into labour by then (Kelly posted the other day that 0.4% of babies arrive before their due date - so what are my odds of success ) but I am going to push them to let me go to 42 weeks with monitoring every day if that's what it takes to allow me time to go into labour spontaneously.
I know it is a really hard decision to make hun - trust your body and your heart. Only you know what you truly want, and your body was made to do this.

Ticklish - It is amazing the responses you get when you tell people you have had a c/s. I know I was made to feel that I failed, didn't really experience the birthing experience (even though I was in labour for 36 hours before I had the c/s) and that it was the easy way out. People unfortunately just don't get it and don't understand the damage done physically, mentally and emotionally.

[ticklish]

People unfortunately just don't get it and don't understand the damage done physically, mentally and emotionally.

Yes, unfortunately others are so insensitive. I fear I am so going to lose it the next time I hear that a c-section is the easy way out! What gives people any right to comment or judge AT ALL? We all have different circumstances!

Other insensitive remarks I have had to endure have been in relation to the recovery - such as "soandso is up and about after having her baby, she obviously had a VB!!" Geez - as if I wouldn't love to be able to take my kids out in the car by myself and lift my toddler about (well, I have done that twice actually - BIG MISTAKE!). Just the perfect thing to make me feel like crap for having a c-section and being stuck at home with 2 children and having to rely on help!!

TICKLISH

[*charmalea*]

i have no idea why the c/s is booked in for 39 weeks ... they actually like them to do them at 38 weeks ....so a doc told me 38-39 is the time where repeat c/s are booked ..

i think im so worried about needing to have labour this time round i was wanting to see if my body was ready and doing its thang .... but if you can go into labour with out a ripe cervix , then i may just wait ... ( i am totally naieve about labour!!)

but inductoion is an another issue too ...


but i totally get the word "elective" it is so wrong in many cases ....


i was at a party on the week end and so many people who didnt even know me asked what sort of birth i was having , c/s or vag .... one person just said are you going to have a ceaser .. as if it was an easy option ..... yeah its easy someone doing all the work to get baby out ... but it aint no picnic after that !!!!

[Mummatotwo!]

[QUOTE=Tanstar;1302643]Mummatotwo- Im sorry about your hospital not being supportive hun. My VBAC will be 16 1/2 mths after I had my DD by emergency c/s and the hospital I am going to is supportive - they have said the risk of scar rupture is a TEENY bit higher but nothing significant or anything to worry about so it's interesting that they won't let you even attempt to labour. There isn't even any research done - most hospitals suggest 18mths gap but even then, people have vbac'd sucessfully with less of a gap. Is it too late to look at going elsewhere? Is that possible for you? I know it is late but it might very well be worth it if it means you avoid unecessary major surgery.

QUOTE]

"apparantly" this is a qld health regulation. which i just think is a crock!! its not fair
plus, when the midwife told us the apparant risks, it totally panicked my dp, so he is in aggreeance with them, which doesnt help my fight does it.

Mummatotwo - I understand the sadness of your decision for a repeat c-section. I too have strong opinions on VB but have never been able to achieve it. I firmly believe that every mother should be supported in her birthing choices no matter what decision she makes, so long as she is fully informed. I agree that the term elective is just so wrong. It implies a choice that we don't always have. I was bullied into the c-section first time round and given inaccurate information but they still called it elective!! Hope you find support for a maternal assisted c-section.



TICKLISH

yep this is what i am pushing for, and the hospital seem quite happy with it. the thing is though, if i go into labour and have an "emergency" c section they will not do maternal assisted. because they only do MA on elective..

i have no idea why the c/s is booked in for 39 weeks ... they actually like them to do them at 38 weeks ....so a doc told me 38-39 is the time where repeat c/s are booked ..

i think im so worried about needing to have labour this time round i was wanting to see if my body was ready and doing its thang .... but if you can go into labour with out a ripe cervix , then i may just wait ... ( i am totally naieve about labour!!)

but inductoion is an another issue too ...


but i totally get the word "elective" it is so wrong in many cases ....


i was at a party on the week end and so many people who didnt even know me asked what sort of birth i was having , c/s or vag .... one person just said are you going to have a ceaser .. as if it was an easy option ..... yeah its easy someone doing all the work to get baby out ... but it aint no picnic after that !!!!

no its no picnic, and i am concerned about this, as i have a 18 month at home that i also have to care for. how do i pick him up a week after a c section?
i wonder if i am entitled to meals on wheels or any assistance like that.
i know i dont get midwife visits after the op as i live too far away. it seems like its all care and no responcibility

[Beach Mama]

Charmalea - get a hold of New Active Birth hun - it is SO worth the read. If you can't get a copy, then read as many articles on here and elsewhere about the stages of labour etc. so that even if you do end up in a c/s you will know you go in knowing you have done everything you possibly can. Don't forget that nobody can make you do anything in hospital that you don't give consent to. Do not let them bully you into it and question everything. When in labour there are a number of books that recommend that before ANYTHING is done to you, you ask the following questions-
WHAT? are you going to do and what will it do?
WHY? are you going to do it
WHAT? will happen if I say no now but maybe yes later???? I wish now that I remembered this in labour with Isabelle but I think that even with booking in a c/s that even if they say it is policy, you can qeustion why in other states and countries they let vbac'ers go longer (The answer is that there is NO proof or studies to show that the c/s needs to be booked so early) You can say no.

Read these articles (even if you have read them!) and print them off to take with you when you go to your next appointment hun. Check out the birthrites website which is absolutely fabulous.
Uterine Rupture https://www.bellybelly.com.au/birth/vbac-vaginal-birth-after-caesarean
https://www.bellybelly.com.au/birth/vbac-on-whose-terms
Sorry I seem pushy hun, I just feel so passionately about all of this - Yep Im worried about what is going to happen for my VBAC - BUT I am doing absolutely everything I can to ensure I give it my best shot. Im going to have acupucture later on to try ot induce labour if I have'nt gone in spontaneously, I am exercising so that I am fit enough to have a very active birth, I am printing off reams of paper of info to give to my hospital if they even mention the words 40 weeks and C/S in the one breath. I know that my body is made to do this given a chance.

Mummatotwo - Im sorry your DH is worried too hun - get him to read the links above as well. Were you induced with your first??? Let him know that the risk of uterine rupture is the same for a first time induced mother as it is for us attempting VBAC. I know I wasn't told of the risks so why do they put such a fine point on it when we are going for a VBAC. Our risks of DYING or needing a hysterectomy, of baby being damaged and needing breathing assistance, need blood transfusions etc are all MAJOR risks of c/s - did the midwife go through those risk?? Nope, interesting isn't it.
It is a hard choice to make hun regarding your maternal assisted c/s. Just remember that the rate of success for vbac in Australia is around 70-80% so you have a pretty good shot at it if you have good support people. I have the same concerns regarding my girl. She will be 16 1/2 mths when bub arrives and the thought of not being able to pick her up and look after her properly kills me. That is one of my main motivations to fight as much as I can and to educate myself as much as I can on VBAC because midwives and obs don't seem to be as concerned as I am of the much bigger risk associated with me having a c/s rather than having a birth.

Ticklish - It is hard not to just yell at people and make them realise what a traumatic and horrid experience c/s can be. They do seem to think it is the easy way out. My GF had her DD in Jan, and she used to say things like, Oh I don't want the pain in my vj so I might just end up telling them I want a c/s or induction etc - it was hard but I begged her not to, and kept reminding her of what I was like even 4 weeks post-op.

I feel like saying to people - if you had a choice, would you CHOOSE to have major abdominal surgery - like a hysterectomy, for no reason? ( I know some people have good reason and that is different) of course not and the same goes for women birthing after a c/s.

Gosh Im rambling on ladies - sorry, will get off my soapbox now, but I just really wanted to encourage you all because I feel like all 4 of us are in the same boat, with the same fears and are facing the same walls against us. I just feel that we DO have a choice. We are smart, educated women who care about our babies, our bodies and how we are going to bring these babies into world and I for one know I am not going to lie down (literally) and let them walk all over me for no reason.

to you all!!!!!! and if I have offended or overstepped here, I do apologise. Mods we are chatting about vbac and being a bit negative about c/s in a general chatter section so if you prefer we could move to a thread in the vbac section.

[Mummatotwo!]

tanster, we are def on the same page.

if i had my way (which i should, its my body right?) then i would be hbing my baby with a doula and a independant middy. with hospital as a back up.

Nah, of course the middy at the hospital didnt speak of the risks involved with a c section. they never do. and i find that disguisting!
i wasnt induced with ds, i went into spontanious labour at 40 weeks he was born by c section on his due date. i was in labour for 37 hours though, so i was tired, and the oxytocin was causign issues... again, they didnt tell me the risks with THAT either. but i wont vent about my past c section. i have done that for 18 months now, and to be honest, i am in an ok place about it i jsut want a positive gentle beautiful birth for this one.

[mummy of many]

Hi there Ladies, I`ve had four vb`s all induced labours,little buggars didn`t want to come,but the 4 th birth of my son his shoulders got stuck upon delivery and had a great deal of trouble getting him out he wasn`t breathing either,it was very scary thing to go through,and because of this (shoulder displacia) my 5th son was delivered by my first c - section ,this was recommended by my Doctor who knew all my history about previous births,and even though i got through it ok,i felt a little down afterwards for not being able to try to deliver vaginally,but as my husband said at least we were both fine afterwards without the worry of the birth before.I didn`t like the slow recovery after the c-section,you are able to get back to doing so much more after a vb,but i was happy to have the rest time with my hubby stepping up to run the house,and he did a fine job too. I think us as woman should put ourselves and the health of our new borns first and don`t worry about what people say about the choice of birth we decide to go with,some people voice their opinions, but have never been put in the many situations that might happen and we have no controll over somethings,whether we like it or not. thanks ladies. Can someone please tell me why don`t Doctor`s recommend a vaginal delivery soon after you have had a c-section ? ,hubby would like to try for another (number 6) ,but i?m a little worried about the birth chioce,thats if i have a choice! THANKS.

[*charmalea*]

with 5 kids , how can you even think about dtd to get another one LOL !!

[plc1805]

I forgot to mention that I did have a down-side to my c-s. I truly believe that my ability to breast-feed my DS was compromised by my having had a c-s. My milk took ages to come in and DS was a "steak and chips" kid from the start and I had to suppliment from day 2 with formula. I breast-fed and formula-fed him for 10 weeks and then after 2 bouts of mastitis started weaning him off the breast. I just never produced enough milk for him. I'm fully aware that that could happen again with this bub but I think I'll be better prepared this time - last time it all came as a bit of a shock. Just assumed that big bbs meant I could breast-feed forever .

[Beach Mama]

plc - Sorry to hear you had trouble breastfeeding hun. My milk took 5 days to comein and Iz was a sucker and big girl and was getting pretty frustrated. We too supplimented with formula until my milk came in and I fed her until 11 mths. We had issues with attachment for about 4 mths and I saw lots of people for help, like an LC at the hospital and child health centre and my MCHN. It is worth finding out what lactation support your hospital and CHC have before bub arrives. The ABA are also great - put the number on the fridge hun. As far as the risks go with rupture, the risks associated with a c/s are in some cases higher, and there are also many more things that can go wrong. Definately read up on the links included and check out the birthrites website.

MOM - The reason that most Dr's recommend that you wait around 18mths from one c/s to a vbac is that there is a slightly higher risk of your uterine rupture if there is a small gap, as your scar hasn't had time to fully heal. Having said that, not too many studies have been done to prove this and the increased risk is still pretty minimal compared to the risks to mother and baby in a c/s. You are exactly right about our choices - it is OUR choice and as mothers we all know that we want the absolute best for our babies and I know for me that means attempting VBAC. Hope that helps - ave a read of the links I posted in the previous post for Lea and ask any questions you might have. Find out what your hospital policies are regarding VBAC too.

Captain - Welcome hun! I know what you mean about having choices taken away and the disappointment that you feel by having the option to give birth naturally taken away from you. It sounds like your hospital is very supportive and definately write a c/s birth plan, including things like wanting skin to skin contact asap(some let you do that in surgery - others like my hospital, let me cuddle her in theatre and then had skin to skin and first feed in recovery). There are some great threads around with birth plans specifically for c/s - I will chase them up and post them for you.

As far as my c/s went, I had a pretty positive experience(the reasons for having it in the first place are what I have issues with). I had a great anaesthetist who quietly spoke to me and explained what they were doing at each step- especially as I was pretty panicked and scared going into theatre. Once she was born they let me announce what sex she was! (Hard to do with no contacts or glasses on! ) DH cut the cord and brought her straight over for cuddles. I had a midwife with me in recovery and she pushed for me to have skin to skin and the first b'feed immediately so that was great. Be aware that there isn't always a midwife available to do that - she told me if it got busy she would have to leave which really would have sucked. Being in recovery with Iz and DH was great, and the thought of being there for an hour on my own and not holding my baby would be horrible. Speak to your hospital about your options regarding these things - an independant midwife might be the answer. My recovery was ok, but I don't want to go through all of that again with a toddler. Just not being able to drive for 6 weeks ( I drove at 3 1/2 ) was tough too.

Hotkim - that is great that you were able to have an empowered birth by c/s! I think the key is being educated and informed and making those decisions based on that!!

Mummatotwo! - I would love to have a HBAC - I just cannot do anything to convince DH that it is actually our safest option. I keep imagining myself having a beautiful quiet(well maybe SOME noise during labour ) water birth in my lounge room, and then crawling into my lovely bed with my new gorgeous man and having beautiful cuddles there. Awwwww to have a DH that supported that - don't get me wrong, he is sooo supportive but is scared that I will be in too much pain, or that there will be probs with bubby that don't get picked up etc. I suppose after seeing me labour for 36 hours last time and ending in c/s has left a few scars for him too. Instead I am going to educate my hospital on what I want and need for MY birth because it is my choice at the end of the day and nobody can give consent but me!

Lea- hun - it must be hard for you trying to decide what to do. Just remember it is YOUR birth hun, and you can educate yourself and your carers - print off everything you can find to do with VBAC so that you can refer to them when you have appointments and be firm prior to going into labour. I posted recently about all the doubts and fears I have too so I do know how confusing and hard it is too hun.
SamanthaP - thanks for popping in with the info hun!

I have rambled on and on again ladies so sorry. Tell me when to pull my head in!

[SophieRose]

Is it normal to feel as though everyone thinks your a wimp or a failure to have an elective c-section??
I contracted Herpes from a messed up blood transfusion last year, and now i don't want to have a natural birth because there is no way in hell i am going to risk giving it to my baby.
and everyone is making me feel horrible because i've decided i would prefer to have a c-section.
My partner had his heart set on it being a natural birth, because he had a little girl to his ex via natural. And he's also making me feel terrible about making a choice about my own body and child.
The Doctor that i've seen the last couple of times actually went as far as to say to me to "stop being a wimp, yes, birth is painful and that you should just do it naturally"
After i'd already explained that i wanted an elective c-section.

[SophieRose]

sorry just realised that this is a page for mothers who've actually had a c-section

[~mamaspice~]

Hi SophieRose, no this isn't just a thread for those who've already had a section. You are more than welcome to post in here.
Sorry to hear you contracted herpes from a blood transfusion . You shouldn't feel at all like a wimp for considering an elective caesarean. It's only natural to want the best outcome for your baby and I think it's only natural to feel a little hesitant to go for a VB when you have the herpes factor to consider. Have you had an outbreak while pregnant or have you been well so far? Just something to consider - Many women who carry the HSV2 virus go on to have normal vaginal deliveries without incident. One of my friends did just that only a month ago. Quite often it is recomended to go on anti-viral meds say for the last 6 weeks of pregnancy up until the birth and this will prevent you from having any outbreaks during this time. Something to consider anyway, but in the end you have to make the decision that is right for you. Best of luck with whatever you choose.

[scooby]

thanks spice and MOM i am willing to try anything to make sure all goes as smooth as possible, i might actually make an appointment with a naturopath, v good idea!
SR: i would be finding a new DR that is very inappropriate, like spice said there are things you can do to have a VB if you want to, but if you elect to have a CS thats ok too and by no means makes you a wimp, if anything i think CS recovery is alot harder than that of a VB (if all goes to plan) you must do whats best for you and although DH input is important it is your body and only you know whats best. Good luck !