dealing with an upcoming "elective" c-section

[peanutter]

Due to unfortunate events surrounding DS's birth, I cannot give birth again naturally. If you are curious about why, feel free to read through my birth story and subsequent threads.

So I'm blessed to be pregnant again - and I am thrilled.

But getting my head around the fact that I can't give birth to my new son or daughter is proving difficult.

I know that a natural birth is not the be all and end off of all things, and that I should stil be able to breastfeed, and that I should be able to be awake during the c-section, and get given my new son or daughter straight away, and have those first cuddles and the breastcrawl and all those other lovely things - but there seems to be a great big chasm between that knowledge and how I am feeling.

Has anyone else been in a similar place?

I have about 7 months to get used to the idea ... but I'm not sure where to start.

Oh, and can I just say how much I despise the word "elective" in there? It's not elective. It's mandatory, because I don't want my insides ripping open, and causing me and the baby to die. Yeah, elective my foot. Boo.