Huge Peanutter. I haven't been through anything like what you did in having DS (so this is coming more from what I *think* might work, rather than direct experience) but I think "knowing" all of those things about c-sections (b'feeding, first cuddles etc) and "knowing" that you can't have a vaginal birth intellectually or factually is totally different to knowing those things emotionally, or accepting them emotionally ITMS.

In my case I "knew" all the factual stuff about my c-section and the reasons for it but I had to work through my emotional knowing of it before I could start to be ok with what happened. And that meant ignoring all the facts (healthy baby, eventually healthy me etc) and sitting with my feelings about it all. I think you need to work through the emotional stuff, grieve the loss of choice that you are now faced with. It is a loss and I'm not sure how you process it, it's different for everybody and there's no right way except the way that feels right to you but finding a way to sit with how you feel about what is going to happen and then coming to a place of being able to farewell that other scenario, accept this scenario and even embrace it perhaps. It's not your ideal choice, but it's the best choice for you, to look after you.

I hope that chasm between your knowledge of things and your feelings about them closes over the next 7 months