peanutter, good on you for asking early. I had only an hour to wrap my head around the fact that my Jake had to be born by csection, but my prior research I believe made the experience a lot more calming and gave me a feeling of 'control.'
I chose to have a spinal so I could be awake, and my DH to be with us in theatre. I had the curtain up while they were cutting, but put down when they pulled him out. DH walked around to the apgar testing table and cut Jakes cord. I could see the whole thing even though I was still lying down, because they had a monitor and camera set up in the room. So I watched everything that was going on through the monitor. See if this monitor and camera is available to you, as it was really nice to be able to watch everything. They let us take pictures in theatre, the nurses were all too happy to help take photos, we didn't have a good camera with us because our csection wasn't so planned, but we could take them on our smartphones without any hassle, our hospital's policy was still photos were fine in theatre but not video. I would suggest checking your hospitals policy regarding photos and video in theatre.
Also, have a chat with your partner and discuss whether you'd like him to stay with you, or go with the baby to SCN, if the baby has to go. Its good to have that decision made in advance so he knows what to do, especially if you end up having to have a general.
And I am exclusively breastfeeding Jake, it took a little longer for my milk to come in, so he lost more than 10% in 3 days. It was suggested to me on day 3 that they top up with formula, but I put my foot down and said NO! (as this wouldn't help my supply much!), so instead they hired to me an electric breastpump so I could pump after each feed. I recommend this approach over formula top ups, I only had to do it for a few days, then my supply built up and my milk came in.
Also, ask about the lactation services provided by the hospital, ours had day clinics you could book yourself into, I went to one and it helped a lot with my understanding and confidence. Jake was so small by day 3 (2.4kg) and my boobs so big, that it was hard to get him to latch on, my boobs were like twice the size of his head! but we managed
Ummm, what else.. oh yeah referred pain can be a real b*tch! On day 2nd night post op I had this excruciating shoulder pain, I remember thinking WTF?! ... turns out this can happen after a csection. So even though pain in your shoulder seems bizarre, don't keep quiet about it, get some pain relief! The first nurse I told gave me codeine, but next nurse suggested I try heat packs instead. The heatpacks worked just as well, and are a lot safer! Codeine can turn into morphine and transfer to baby through breastmilk, which I only found out later. So stick to just panadol 6hrly and heat packs if you can.
Getting a motorised bed helps a lot, its very difficult to rise from lying to sitting to standing in the first week. Try and practise sleeping at an incline, so you can in hospital. The less you have to get from lying flat to sitting up, the better!
This is probably the longest post ever, sorry for the ramble! Feel free to Skype me or PM me if you have any questions xoxo
ETA: on the emotional side, I had a good talk to my aunty who had all 4 kids by csection. Her pelvis was shaped too narrow, like a squished oval shape (I can't remember the medical term) so she couldn't give birth vaginally. She didn't find this out till her 2nd pregnancy, after her first one ended in a critical emergency csection. My aunty told me not to listen to rubbish about 'missing out' or 'cheated.' She says 'the end result is the same' and anytime I feel any disappointment, I should just look at my beautiful son and remind myself how lucky I am to have such a miracle in my arms and be grateful.
I went through a similar birth to your sons's with my first DD, however ended in emergency c/s (she was posterier) and got stuck in my pelvis due to bone in the way during pushing stage.
I too was told any future births needed to be elective c/s due to medical condition. I saw a psychologist who helped me prepare for the birth. She told me every birth for anothe baby is different and to focus on that. Also knowledge is power.
I also had the fear of dying while being cut open. I was told this is normal. Hugs, I know its hard to face having surgery.
What I recommend being through 2 elective c/s is:
a) positive thoughts or seeing a counsellor and relaxation techniques to prepare for the birth:
- this birth is different, different baby will not be the same birth as DS
- dont think about c/section, think about meeting your baby
- hypnotherapy works well too if you want to try it to send you postive thoughts for the c/section.
b) ask the hospital if you can have baby in recovery to breastfeed. I could this time 3 weeks ago for the birth of DD3 and it was awesome and we breastfeed in recovery it certainly has helped my supply and bonding this time round.
c) speak to the anethetist before the procedure of the elective c/s to alleviate any anxiety and go through the steps with him of administering the drugs in your spine. I found out the spinal was better for me (much less drug quantity administered), as I have high anxiety and had the shakes so bad from the epidural which I had for 24 hours then a top up of it when getting emergency c/s with my first.
The spinal block only took 10-20mins to take affect and about 10mins before DD3 was born, it will be less for you as you havent had a c/section before, they had to be more careful due to my previous scaring from the operations.
d) ask if you can have music or relaxation of some sort playing in the background during the c/section.
e) they should give you the baby as soon as he/she is born. I got to hold Annabel 1 min after she was born. She was weighed a bit later after stitching me up.
f) Try to walk ASAP when you dont have the catheter in anymore just little steps at a time. The more you walk around the faster your recovery will be.
g) Depending on the hospital they will give you different types of painkillers after the c/section for recovery. I had PDA of fentenyl (not morphine) after for 24 hours, it did wonders, after that I only had panadine forte every 6 hours. I cant take Voltaren or Endone which my hospital also offered.
Hope this helps, your welcome to read the birth stories of Tara (July 08) and Annabel (June 2011) which were both elective c/sections which I go through the whole procedure hopefully will help ease your mind a bit. Im here if you need to talk too, just pm me.
Not sure how much help I am, probably none, but I feel your pain. I have had to come to terms with that too this pregnancy. My focus wasn't particularly on the C section itself, but the possibility of separation and not having immediate skin to skin etc.. I have just been asking questions each time I go to the hospital and trying to focus on the positives. It is scary to think about the birth if your last birth was traumatic. I think *Belle* has given some really good advice.
But I know what your saying. DD was classified as 'elective'. Elective to me means that I CHOSE to have her delivered by c/s.
I had no choice in the matter. I still have major issues over her delivery.
I'm thinking of you, honey. And I'm here if you want to have a rant.
but we managed
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