Feeling like a failure (yet again) c-section

[aussienic]

I think Ob's are overly cautious. i would have tried for a VBAC last time if my 2nd sone hadn't been sick at birth ( not from c/s) We opted for ac/s cus we were scared our last son would be sick as well.. and now after 2 c.s I wouldn't risk a VBAC. Some people do and that is their choice but for me and DH we chose a c/s as thats what we prefer

As for going to 40 weeks I think thats a sign of a good OB. if you are induced I *think* you are more likey to have your labour end in a c/s where if you go into labour naturally your body is ready kwim???

As for the risk of rupture. it is very small. just google VBAC and see what comes up. there are some interesting articles out there. I think the main page of BB has some as well..

If I have another scan which shows bub is normal size ( I have GD and grow big babies) and growing normally I am going to try and hold out till 39-40 weeks for the c/s but I don't think that willhappen as bub is already growing a little big.

[maz]

Nat - I went public with all of my births and again this time round..there are no out of pocket expenses matie.
Kris - I would hav eloved your OB...man I would have given anything to have one like yours...you go girl and make sure you let us know how you go. Ive got everything crossed for you that you have a fantastic VBAC
Nic - I had GD last time round so the doc's are watching me liek ahawk plus having extreme m/s and the itchiest skin..ah im glad this is the final one for me atm

[joralyd]

This is my 3rd C and dr is letting me go till 39wks 1day however if I got really big I'm sure he would concider doing it earlier perhaps to be on the causious side?. I went to 39wks with my second. My ob isn't overly concerned if I go into labour although I would have to get to hospital asap to have an emergency C. With an elective the ob (even private) still has to fit the op into the hospitals schedual and his/her own maybe that had something to do with them going in early? does seem strange though doesn't it?
I have heard of some women having very thin uturine walls which might explain it and it means rupture is more of a risk plus other complications but apparently they would have to check during a c/s to know that. I have also heard it can depend on your scar tissue and how you healed but I doubt it's very comon.
I know induction is out because it puts too much pressure on the uterus too quick and there is more of a risk of rupture.
Good luck Kris!! and if you do go overdue maybe you could try acupunture or something? worth a try.

Hi Nic great to have another member of the exclusive C club only 6 weeks to go woohoo!!

I have a question for everyone, were you warned about having anymore children after your 2nd pgcy? or even asked if you wanted your tubes tied? I was warned with my 2nd but there was no reason other than the subsiquent risks involved with c/s's and my ob(not the same as 2nd) has warned me again not to have anymore and tried to talk me into having my tubes tied again which I really don't want to do. I don't plan on anymore children but I don't want my choice taken away either.

[SamanthaP]

Hi Krisp,

Be happy you don't have an Ob like theirs! You're not crazy - they are. A little bit of research (as you have obviously done) show that the risks from a repeat section are higher than a VBAC.

How do we know that thin uterine walls at term aren't just a normal part of pregnancy? The only people who seem to have thin uterine walls are the ones who have had their uterus cut open by an Ob in the first place. What about all those women who don't have sections and so we don't see their uterus? I always find that logic about thin uterine walls funny.

[aussienic]

Maz: this is my 3rd pregnancy with insulin dependent GD. I am not doing this again. I am over the finger jabbing 6 times a day and the insulin twice. I keep reminding myself I only have X amoount of times to do it. I added up the amount of times i have to do it all I have forgotten the number though...

Tiff: I was going to get my tubes tied last pregnancy but the week before the c/s I just couldn't go through with it. i just knew I wanted one more even though DH was adamant he didn't want anymore. I was the one who brought it up with the Dr and they tried to talk me out of it surprisingly. This time I brought it up and the Dr said ok if thats what you want and when I asked a few questions he said if you are doubtful then go for the mirena. i was a little annoyed at that to be honest as I wanted some questions answered..

you can say no to the tubal. The only reason I am doing it is because I hope to Bf for almost 2 years again and i don't like condoms and i don't want to take the pill or mini pill. and the mirena is out cus I just don't like the thought of it. and having Dh get the snip is also out ( my choice there) If i wasn't have a c/s then we would weigh up the pros and cons off all other BC but for us a tubal is the way to go..

[joralyd]

Nic I'm the same about bc I hate the thought of chemicaly changing my bodies natural processes and really worry about the hormonal changes that come with it. A tubal would be the best option I just wish it wasn't so final kwim? are their any side effects from tubals?

[maz]

I had my tubes clamped after I had my second and I woke from surgery crying knowing I had done the wrong thing. I had lots of pain on my left side everytime I O'ed and my periods were terrible and painfull. I also fell pg 3 times but always m/c. I had a reversal in 2005 - which is classed as a c/s op and have had Vyolett and now this baby since. so all up this will be my 5th c/s and I can fell that my body has had enough. My scar is really hurting so I know even if I wanted to I wouldnt be able to go naturally...my scar tissue also hurts and after having so many tummy op's...it was hard for the u/s guy to get a good look through all the scar tissue. I will not be going on th epill after this baby...ive beeged for the OB to tak eout both my tubes as I feel that the pain I had was the clamps on my tubes and not the procedure. adn just to be safe, Jed is getting the snip

[aussienic]

I know about the finality of it all. I am trying to put that out of my mind to be honest. I an done int he baby making though but the whole being told never again annoys me!!

I am not sue about side effects. I have read you can get troubles with your monthly's and pain at ovulation or something like that. I don't think Drs recognize it as a real problem though..

I * think* it is called tubal ligation syndrome!!

But we decided a tubal is reversable so if i have any trouble then we can do something about it later on. I just don't feel comfortable taking the pill for how ever many more years. I just turned 31 so it could be a good 15 years if not more. and I definetly don't want another pregnancy. I say pregnancy because I could go on having baby's for years but pregnancy no more. The worry and the tiring side of it esp this time has worn us out

[aussienic]

Maz: what is the difference between clamping and cutting? Well I know the difference but i guess I mean do you have a choice how it is done?

[maz]

The clamps are a small metal thing they place over your tubes to seal them off. when they cut your tubes they cut and either sew the end closed or burn them closed. Its easier to have a reversal with your tubes clamped.

[jaz2512]

nat, i have also had 3 c-sections, all of which were planned, i have not ever had any type of labour, exept my waters breaking 2 1/2 hrs before my son was born. i did feel a little down bout having all my babies cut out but sometimes it is best for them and you, it does get better the more you have because you know what to expect. c-sections in my mind are the way to go! everything gets to stay the same!! lol. i hope all goes well for you, and if you are worried about pain after it(if it is planned you shouldnt hurt that much) there is alway pethadine!lol.
jaimee

[jaz2512]

i have also had my tubes tied with my 3rd c section, i have not regreted anything it was the best decision i have ever made, i am only 23 but am totally happy with 3 kids. i had the surgon take alot of tube and they also burnt the ends so there is no chance of them connecting again, i think that you need to think about it if you are done, and as for it being final, that is bull, if you regret it get it reversed, but in reality ladies if you are happy with the amount of childern you have make it stay that way, because if you dont when will you stop, chemical contrception doesnt work too well, and who does use condoms.
jaimee
(i have been preg 6 times 2 with the impinon, 3 on the pill, and one was totally planned)

[joralyd]

I think the clamping is a relatively new procedure like in the last 15yrs or so because they used to just cut them out and/or burn them. My mum had a tubal wayyyyy back in the day and that was how they did it back then. I remember she discissed having a reversal with her ob when I was a teenager but the dr said it wasn't possible. I would think clamping would be alot easier to reverse should you have any probs unless your highly fertile like Maz
Maz that's so sad I didn't know you had 3 m/c
I guess I was just a bit peeved that my dr's seem to give me the run down on bc and the "risks" when I'm fully aware kwim? and I know other women have had more than 2 or 3 c/s (including Maz!) why am I so special?

[aussienic]

The clamps are a small metal thing they place over your tubes to seal them off. when they cut your tubes they cut and either sew the end closed or burn them closed. Its easier to have a reversal with your tubes clamped.

Ok thanks for that. thats sort of what I thought. Another decision to make now

c-sections in my mind are the way to go! everything gets to stay the same!! lol. i

Thats how I feel. I did give birth vaginally with my first son ( hate the word natural) Was a textbook labour and birth too. Only reason for the c/s with my 2nd was due to the GD at my 36 week scan he was already measuring above 9lb and I was determined to NOT have a c/s. The following week just before my 37 week app my waters broke. We took about 5 mins to decide on a c/s and to this day I grateful I did. when he was 12 hours old he stopped breathing and then a few hours after that he started seizing. I still believe if I had laoured with him he wouldn't have made it. oh and he was born weighing 9lb 14oz at 37 weeks on the dot

[maz]

Tiff - tell your doc about me matie...see what he says.

Knowing that the baby comes out safer and healthy with a c/s still doesnt take away the pain and torment of not being able to do what the big man upstairs had planned for us women to do. My husband totally understands how I feel and he siad that he feels my pain in this. He was there when I was in labour with NIkolaus for the 20 something hours which ended up in an emergency c/s and it made us so close. He was also there when I had my 2nd c/s with WIlhelm (even though I have to have a general) and he said it was the most tromatic experience he has ever been through. He hated the way the doctors pulled at my body and watched and heard everything that went on. Jed also suffered post natal after I had Wilhelm and the councilor he was said that the c/s birth could have been a big contributor to it.
I would cut my right leg of so to speak to give birth naturally. I also feel like I have taken my husbands right to be there when his child enters the world and cut the babies cord. Instead, he has to sand in a room and wait to hear our babies cry to know.
And to let you know why I got my tubes clamped...my second son has high functioning autisum and we thought by not having any more children at the time we were doing i\him a favour. I never recieved any councilling on the matter. I am so glad I had my reversal becuase having Vyolett has not only brightened mine and Jed's lives but has bought WIlhelm right out of his shell.
Sorry have to go...very emotional right now

[Hoody]

Krisp i just wanted to say that i felt exactly the same with wanting my VBAC this time around. I too go to playgroup where 2 other mums are pg and has CS's with their 1st's too. I was the only one wanting a VBAC and they both thought i was mad! I also didnt have the support from DH i think the trauma of out 1st DD arrival has made him think that a CS is the only way. Up unti lyesterday i was all for my VBAC but after having my 34 week check and speaking to a diff dr (i am public so see whoever is on) have decided to go for the CS again. This has been decided on both medical and personal reasons. Yesterday i felt a bit cheated and let down but at the end of the day i was not forced into the decision. Today i am feeling alot better about it all and am quite excited

[Hoody]

Krisp i just wanted to say that i felt exactly the same with wanting my VBAC this time around. I too go to playgroup where 2 other mums are pg and has CS's with their 1st's too. I was the only one wanting a VBAC and they both thought i was mad! I also didnt have the support from DH i think the trauma of out 1st DD arrival has made him think that a CS is the only way. Up until yesterday i was all for my VBAC but after having my 34 week check and speaking to a diff dr (i am public so see whoever is on) have decided to go for the CS again. This has been decided on both medical and personal reasons. Yesterday i felt a bit cheated and let down but at the end of the day i was not forced into the decision. Today i am feeling alot better about it all and am quite excited. If you have support from both your Dr and DH then i would go for the VBAC. Good luck with the decision making its a hard one i know. Our bubs are very close in age.......my DD d.o.b is 11/03/06 and i am having my CS on 13/11

[joralyd]

I think when things don't go to plan we feel alot of guilt, regret and dissapointment even when it's out of our control. To me it "seems" all these women can have babies the natural way and I failed! kwim? I do feel a little ashamed and some what judged but at the same time I have 2 healthy babies that I am sooo grateful for, reguardless of how they were born. My first would have died had I gone any longer in labour and without a C/S, that some people view as unecessary, my boy would not be here.
Your choice to have an elective C no matter what the reason shouldn't be judged or debated unless you ask for it other than that it's your choice and it should be supported. I think that's the only way we'll stop the guilt and failure some c/s mothers experience. It sometimes feels like the view is giving birth is a test of your strength, we all congratulate the poor mum who laboured for 30hrs with NO pain relief but there isn't much pride for the mum who had a 20 min cut on the op table even though she's endured emotional pain kwim?
Anyway that's my view not everyones and since I've had 2 C's i figure that gives me the right to have my view

Maz I'm so sorry you've had such an emotional journey, it's fantastic you have your hubbies love and support and 3 (soon to be 4) munchkins to addore It's not easy being a woman but I couldn't imagine being a man eww PMSL