it sounds like you're in a tough place at the moment. Uncertainty can be so debilitating.

I think it is always worth while to examine the feelings surrounding birth and really try and connect with what you're afraid of, or what could go wrong, and what the best case scenario is for you and bub (i.e. research). Once you've gone over all of that, you might find you come back to the same decision or change your mind entirely.

As other people have stated. It really is your choice. You have to live through this experience, and it isn't anyone else's business.

I do want to assure you that vaginal births can be so amazing and empowering, and with appropriate support, they can be done drug free, or with minimal intervention. This means your recovery can be days instead of weeks.

Birth is a rite of passage for every mother, and it is YOUR journey. I hope you find the support you need.