I don't feel connected to my baby....

[Phteven]

I think it is completely normal for some women. I am not sure if I would have been the same if it was a vaginal birth or not.

Funnily enough I bonded really fast with my c-section baby. I sometimes think that because Yasin was my first I was learning to be a mother and getting used to my new role but when Imran arrived I already knew how to be a mummy.

[paradise lost]

FWIW though i personally only have one child and bonded well, my friend had 2, #1 DS vaginal birth, l-o-n-g 1st stage (34hours) then 90mins pushing. It took her weeks to bond with him. She said he felt like a little stranger in her house and though she knew he was hers, she didn't feel like she knew him or what to do with him. With #2 DS he turned breech during labour. They noticed this when they broke her waters (after 30hours of latent and 1st stage ctx) after she'd stalled at 6cm for 5 hours. She had to have an emergency section. She said she bonded instantly and was twitching for the 30mins in recovery when she was with him but couldn't hold him (she was shaking from the epidural).

You never know with birth. Bonding instantly might be deemed "normal" but as far as i know from talking to women of their own experiences, it is far from widespread.

Look after yourself and be GENTLE with yourself. You've been through a lot, you're doing an amazing job. Hang in there.

Bx

[~Trish~]

I didn't have a c/s, but I had a very long natural VB with my first DS and I didn't feel a connection with him at first either. When the midwife passed him to me I felt nothing other than relief that labour was over. I had a long recovery after some blood loss and it took a couple of weeks to really feel like I was bonding with him. Definitely when he started smiling and looking at me it helped.

With my second DS I felt that bond instantly, I think it is definitely a first-time-mum feeling not to bond quickly. And I also think if you have had a traumatic birth experience (mine was) that it is also normal not to feel that bond. I'm sure there are plenty of first time mums who do have that connection, but I certainly didn't.

You will feel it soon, but don't feel guilty for not feeling it at the moment. There are plenty of other mums who have felt the same

[Sammiejane]

I had an emergency C/S and at about a week down the track i finally admitted to my DH that i felt like i did not give birth. I loved my daughter, but they could have handed any baby to me and told me that she was mine.
I felt totally cheated and was carrying a lot of anger that meant that i wasnt able to bond properly.

Molly Jane is now almost 6 weeks and there connection is there. But i had to deal with the anger (its still under there a bit) surrounding the birth (this meant deciding not to seee my OB for any follow up appoints) and the guilt and sadness that i couldnt deliver my baby the 'normal way' before i was able to bond properly.

It will come and it gets better, just enjoy your time with William and you will soon forget what it was ever like not to be a mummy