FWIW though i personally only have one child and bonded well, my friend had 2, #1 DS vaginal birth, l-o-n-g 1st stage (34hours) then 90mins pushing. It took her weeks to bond with him. She said he felt like a little stranger in her house and though she knew he was hers, she didn't feel like she knew him or what to do with him. With #2 DS he turned breech during labour. They noticed this when they broke her waters (after 30hours of latent and 1st stage ctx) after she'd stalled at 6cm for 5 hours. She had to have an emergency section. She said she bonded instantly and was twitching for the 30mins in recovery when she was with him but couldn't hold him (she was shaking from the epidural).

You never know with birth. Bonding instantly might be deemed "normal" but as far as i know from talking to women of their own experiences, it is far from widespread.

Look after yourself and be GENTLE with yourself. You've been through a lot, you're doing an amazing job. Hang in there.

Bx