Is there a cost for elective c/s?

[Maruschke]

The thought of waiting for labour to happen, if it ever does, and then going through that, risking something happening to bub during labour, and then probably ending up on the table anyway is driving me nuts.

I think it is understandable to feel that way. I was under the impression hospitals can't force you to attempt a VBAC anyway?

[HotI]

Char, i will support you whatever decision you make. There are benefits in allowing baby to choose his own birthday and i can give information to help you work through if that is what you want.

Likewise, if you have decided that you definitely want a c section then i can get you information to help it be a good experience, and tips to give you the best start to breastfeeding etc. (i know you have said you want to breastfeed this bub)

Did you find talking to the IM helpful at all?

[FabFiona]

Hugs. Sounds like you are a rough place at the moment.

I have nothing to add, but hope you find peace with whatever you decide.

[Charlotte91]

I know that it's my choice whether I VBAC or not.

I'll admit, not happily, that I am 'scared' of the unknown and would rather have a cs than go through a VBAC not knowing whats going on.

I woke up the other day and it hit me like a tonne of bricks that this isn't going to work. It's not a loss of confidence, it's reality. I couldn't even birth a 3lb baby, how the hell am I meant to push out a 7lb'er??
I'm getting BHs that take my breath away. How am I meant to go through labour?
No matter how many times I listen to my calmbirthing tracks, I just don't get into it enough. So have realised that it's not the path for me.

I've tried contacting that IM a few times and had no luck so given up.

DD has been so difficult lately, I don't know how I'm going to deal with 2. I don't see the baby coming home with us anyway. I'm having nightmares that something will happen to him. That's why I want him out of me. I have a history of not keeping babies safe.

I'm not going to plan or think about bub's delivery until my scan in 10 days because it's that scan ultimately that will decided whether a VBAC is an option or not.

[Maruschke]

Have you considered talking to a mw who has experience in mental health? Some of them are really great, they understand the fears and anxiety of women who have been through stressful previous pregnancies and births. Find someone you can trust and speak to them about how you are feeling . Regardless of how you birth, I think it would be beneficial to chat, and maybe even plan for what to happen if these feelings resurface post birth. Thinking of you, this path isn't an easy one. xoxo