Meema, I met Peter Lee for the first time yesterday and he will be doing my c/s. I understand what you mean about meeting him so late in the pregnancy for him to perform major surgery and get your baby here safely. Honestly I was a bit worried to meet him, but he was really good especially seeing as it was 6pm and he had delivered a baby at 4am! lol I am booked in for the 8th (originaly 14th,but had a call this morning to change it to the 8th) and I will be 38w6d. Thank you for sharing your experience, it has definitely made me feel a bit more relaxed about everything.
Nixon, I was the same as you when this all came up. I couldnt visualise the birth at all without ending up in tears thinking baby will taken away and I'll be left in recovery by myself. I have been told over and over again I will have to be firm and insist baby stays with me (providing he doesn't need to go to SCN obviously). Thankfully I raised this again at my midwife appt yesterday and she has told me to give her a call today and let her know when I am booked in, she will check who is rostered on and leave a note on the board that I am coming in and would like to breastfeed in recovery so hopefully they can shuffle a few things around. This would be the ideal situation, but slowly I have come around to the idea that if our baby is taken away it's because he needs to be in SCN, or he is safe getting skin to skin cuddles with his Daddy. DH has promised to keep him entertained! lol Good Luck with your OB. If you're anything like me, it's hard to be firm when you request something like this, but it's important to you so I hope you can make it happen.
Spoke to my hospital yesterday and was told under no circustances would they allow baby and mother to stay in recovery together. Their reason was that there were no midwives on the recovery ward. I was told "it's ONLY 30 - 45 minutes" - if that amount of time is SO insignificant to them and SO SO SO Significant to me why can't they give me a midwife to accompany me to the recovery ward for 30 - 45 minutes? Like someone else said earlier - if this was a natural birth I would be taking up several hours worth of midwife time.
I can't stop crying - I was awake at 4am again this morning unable to sleep because of my anxiety over this. I'm ringing other hospitals to find out their procedures, but the one that tries to keep mum and bub together would mean a change of obstetrician. I feel like no one cares about what I want or need. I feel like I'm being treated like an incubator that they can just tell me what is going to happen, cut out my baby and send he or she away without any regard for how I feel about it. The worst part is I'm starting to have some feelings of not caring and thinking that maybe I won't be able to bond with the baby. I'm not looking forward to the birth like I was and I'm really scared that this is the beginning of some sort of depression. I feel like I can't breathe at times and I feel trapped.
OMG this is horrible. I feel so sad for all of you There is no reason for this!!
When I had my "emergency" c/s 4 weeks ago DD was given to DH immediately and he sat beside me and held her and held her up to me while they stitched me up. Once I was stitched up and they took the sheet down etc she was immediately unwrapped and put on my chest and she had her first breastfeed and everything. She stayed on my chest the whole time and while I was wheeled back to my room and then they weighed her etc and gave her back to me. I wasn't seperated from her the whole time I was in hospital and that's how it should be!!
I would just tell them that you WILL NOT be seperated from your baby if there is no medical need, they can not take your baby away from you if you don't let them so be strong! And get your DH on side and let him know exactly what he has to do. If I was having this problem I would just tell my DH that under no circumstances is he to let them take the baby and he is to hold onto the baby and stay with me. What are they going to do forcefully take it from his arms? I really wouldn't care if they got cranky with me if they were being so unreasonable.
I had to stop reading this thread half way as I was getting really teary. So I dont know what else has been said...but here's what I have to get out.
I had a c/s with Mason as he was breech. I was told that he can't come into recovery with me as there are no midwives available so he must go with DH to the ward after birth.
Well after he was born, he was rushed to the SCU for temperature and breathing issues, but DH went with him. What an awful abandoned feeling I had being stitched up, and "recovering" for the next 90 mins...ALONE. (I hate them so much for this)
Anyway... it is so important to let DH know how you feel before hand and your preferences. Before I "met" Mason, all his Aunties and grandparents had met him before me. BUT Dh didn't let anyone hold him.That was my one wish that was granted.
I actually said that DH could cuddle him--- but he waited for me. That was the most special thing about our birthing "experience".
DO speak up---
If you ask, you will likely get an answer you donm't like
so tell them. This is my birth, this is my baby.
I wish you all the very best. And I am staring down the path of another c/s too
Thanks girls - I have managed to get onto someone at my hospital who has tagged my file and said that she will do her best to keep an eye out for me when I come in and she will do her best to help keep us all together. She has told me to tell my Ob how much this means to me and to make him understand before we go in for C/s. DH has now taken over in dealing with the Ob - I'm a mess. We have an appointment with Ob next week, but hospital lady said to call him now and explain about the not sleeping and crying etc.
I'm just going to try and keep calm for now. Maybe the other midwife I spoke to yesterday wasn't so knowledgeable about the surgery side of things, I don't know.
And I swear if one more of my friends or family tell me, 'well, there must be a reason for it, you're booked in now so it's too late to do much about it' - I am going to scream. Easy to say for friends who have had 2 or more natural drug free births that lasted less than 8 hours where they haven't had to contemplate seperation. '
DH even started off a bit with that mind set - thinking it must be for insurance purposes or liability or something. Now he can see how much this means to me, he suggesting we go visit other hospitals and talk to new obstericians. I hope he understands that it's not that I don't want the baby to be with him, it's just I want all of us to be together.
Anyway - thanks for the understanding and letting me unload here..
Nixon The only reason appears to be policy. Given that plenty of hospitals allow skini to skin and BF'sing recovery it cannot be liability etc, otherwise they would all be subject to the same liability.
Stand your ground. it isn't 30 -45 mins - it is 30 -45 mins in stitching you up (my baby was well and truly gone by this stage) and then another 30 -45 mins in recovery. It is a long time. I had'n't even touched my son when they took him away. It was awful.
I so hope that you get that experience. It is really difficult trying to explain thsi stuff to people who haven't been through it or even contemplated it.
Hope your c-section went well for you Megan and you're happily babygazing at your precious new baby.
Best of luck getting the birth you want Nixon. Be persisent- and respectfully insistent! The more women demand their needs be met, the easier it gets for us to have the birth experiences we deserve. (not that it is our fault if things don't unfold as we wished though!)
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There is no reason for this!!
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