living on CL alone as a single mum - paying private rental - how do you do it?

[Gigi]

i'm looking at this scenario - and wondering how i will be able to do it, with 50% of income going on rent (at bottom end of rental market).

Public Housing (who will help with bond for private rental, but not with public housing) recommend you don't rent anywhere that is more than 35% of your income.

i can't find any rentals that are less than 50% of my income.

what do other single mums on CL do about this?

i've never been a single mum before (just about to leave - when i can find somewhere to live for me and bilby) so please forgive my question if it sounds very naive - this is all new to me.

[tattoo_mama]

I don't know about other single mums but I shared with a housemate to share rent costs. That turned out to be a disaster but only cause I'm a bad judge of character. Also sign up for govt housing.

[Mum2Romone]

Where are you from? When you are a Single Parent there are all sorts of payments centrelink can give you, as opposed to being partnered.

Single Parent Pensiom +ftb a and B should give you enough with rent assistance to afford a $300.00 a wk place i'd think

My friend does it alone

[deletedit]

PPS is something like 600 a fortnight, plus $60 rent assistance, plus a few hundred in FTA/FTB ...

Back in the dark ages when I was a single parent I was sharing a house right near work. I rented a room out to a guy (there's a lot of paperwork with CL right there) who was only there on weekdays and went back to stay with his mum on weekends. He was a nice quiet Asian chap. My daughter used to boss him around something fierce and he'd do anything she said, and I'm not sure if it was a personality thing or a cultural thing but she liked it anyway

Get a house near a uni or TAFE and rent a room to a student, preferably not a white male party type or you'll have a house full of drunks.

[Amity]

I did it, but was living at home with parents (not renting). However I did pay massive amounts in child care (over $300/wk) which would be equivalent to private rental.

Plan every cent. Meal plan, drive plan, play plan.
Only use the car when you have to (or don't have a car at all, public transport is often much cheaper than maintaining a car).
Cook everything from scratch.
Eat vegetarian a few days a week.
Have play dates at the park.
Join the library for books and DVDs.
Freecycle.
Get to know your local op shop.
Go to church - they often have people who are willing and able to help you with $$ and other day to day things.
Don't be afraid to go to a charity if you have to.
Find out what your local Bakers' Delight do with their bread at the end of the day, tell them you're poor and see if they will donate you some.

Good luck. I've bought milk with 5c pieces more times than I care to count.

[Trillian]

I don't have any advice, but I hope that it all works out for you

[Jennifer13]

Oh hun

It seriously sounds like you should maybe find somewhere to stay until he settles down a little, even if just for a night or two.

It sucks that you're going to have to deal with him being like this. I'm sorry he's found out about your plans.

[Jennifer13]

Gigi, I hope you and Bilby are doing okay. It must be so much to take in. Have you any IRL help where you are?

[widdly]

sweet heart, i hope you are coping okxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx sorry to hear that you are going through all of this, it is really overwhelming and emotional but you can and will do it.

When we were too poor for the internet I used to book weekly computer time at the local public library, just to catch up on BB.

Try hard to seek out a share house. I imagine it would be hard trying to share house with a child, but even if its just for 12 months while you sort things out and feel better and stronger, it cuts costs down SO much.

I cook a boggan load of pasta meals in this house! It is so cheap, yummy and DS loves it. Another staple is home made vege soup, just whatever vegies are going cheap, boil em up with water and some chook stock, yummy! I have a big bowl of soup and 2 pieces of toast for dinner, DS wont eat soup so he has 1/2 can of baked beans, very cheap also. Pancakes are wonderful too, kids love me, they are cheap as chips and you can do lots of different things with em.

Sending loads of love your way xxxxxxxx

[Gigi]

bilby's father went into Centrelink this morning, to lodge paperwork for his new business - they told him he doens't have to - cos we're separated. So BANG goes the confidentiality CL promised me. Now he knows what i've done.

he rang me up immed and wanted to know "is there another man"?
it would never occur to him, that i don't want to be with him, despite the whole "four years of separate sleeping arrangements" thang.

he is going to be livid
i bet he will spend all night convincing me not to go (not to live with bilby will break his heart).

he is going to corner me with so many questions
i wanted to avoid all this, doing a flit when he was at work (when i have somewhere to go)

i am so dreading tonight

so much for squirrelling away money. now he knows, that won't be possible either.

i think this happening, will force my hand, i'll end up leaving with very little
the time for sorting, packing etc will be gone

i'm scared (not of physical violence, but of endless arguing with a person that hasn't been able to communicate with me for years, so what's the point now).

being in a tiny unit, with a person you don't want to live with, has been unpleasant enough (for last four years)
but
being in a tiny unit, with a person you don't want to live with, who KNOWS you are leaving, i dread what that is going to be like.

feeling sick just thinking about it.

[*Sparklez*]

hey Gigi,

Firstly sorry bout your situation its always heartbreaking when you hear of someone in this sort of dilemma,

I was a single mum for about 4 yrs from the age of 18 i had two small children literally a yr apart from eachother, and believe me it dosent get any easier, i had little family support and close to no money.. it was extremely hard.. But i found that i had numerous outlets when i asked for them through government offices..

Firstly depending on what area you are from the housing departments can offer to pay a portion of your bond (as you said depending on the price you can afford).. and also help set up your electricity and gas (if needed) they also can help with removalists if you cant afford it or do it yourself.

Centrelink also has plenty of options to help you also they can give you advances upto 800 dollars which you pay back with each different payment you recieve every fortnight..
And once you are on centrelink you will recieve child support which believe me helps in every little way...

as for housing have you looked at private rentals? this can be a very good way of renting you can find units and villas for around 250-300 mark..
also sometimes the department of housing can refer you to a real estate agent that they work with regularly..
or contact some and let tthem know your situation and hope they have a little bit of sympathy in their heart,,, and they will look for you..

But you have to become your own financial planner, it is soooooo hard in the beginning cause it feels like nothing is gonna work out and you wanna give up but after a while you see the little bit of sunlight at the end... and DONT BE TOO SCARED TOO ASK FOR HELP u will be suprised how many ppl will actually help u...

P.s I hope that sort of helped answer some of your questions?? wish i could help...

[Lulu]

Gigi, someone around here posted that some agencies (not sure who) can help contribute a little towards weekly rent in your circumstances, if you could find out it would really help.

Will you have net access? You can also get a small amount from CL to help with phone/net costs. If you will, the best thing you can do is arrange direct payments from your bank for your electricity/gas/phone etc on a fortnightly basis.

You won't necesarrily need to rely on agencies but there maybe lean times here and there, so it's nice to know they are there if you need it.

A part time job - even 1 or 2 days a week can really make a difference if you can manage it.

I know you budget very well, and that's the main skill to have

xoxoxo

[miss.cinders]

Hey Gigi I'm really sorry to hear you and your OH are seperating. Big hugs sweets

Definitely go and speak to your local Neighbourhood Centre, this is one of the reasons they are there.
They can help you with bond/rent/getting your leco on/food & petrol vouchers if you need.
AND they can also send you in the right direction for councelling if you need it
Seperating is a very emotionally draining experience.

I totally recommend asking them for the papers for public housing too.
It might be a long wait for a house/flat, but in between now and then at least you have the option for public housing if you still need it. And the difference in rent is massive. Also if you do speak to a councellor, they are able to speak to Dept. of Housing on your behalf if you ever need. I don't know anything about your relationship with your OH, but if it has been one affected by abuse of any kind, the councellor can speak to them [dept of housing] about emergency housing for you.

Good luck hun

[AnyDream]

Gigi, if you go to "Women" in the business/govt section of the whitepages, there are a number of services that may be able to help you, either by providing you with additional information, or by actual service provision.

eg
Women's Information Service 8303 0590 or 1800 188 158
The Women's Housing Association 8349 4460
Women's Legal Service Phone Advice 8221 5553.

It is definitely worth ringing around as much as you can, before you make any decisions, and very worth seeking legal advice first. The Women's Info Service provides FREE legal advice over the phone & they would have some more info on services available to you so try ringing them first. And of course if there is any element of Domestic Violence/Safety issues, there is lots of help to get you out and into shelter accommodation, so don't be afraid to ask for assistance if that is the case .

[briggsy's girl]

with your calculations, have you taken into account what maintenance you will get?

if there is no housing locally that you can afford to privately rent, get in touch with your RE agent. there are some charities that will help with bond loans and to make the amount of rent paid more affordable each week while you're in private housing (as public is so damn hard to come by).

[Gigi]

i am already on the Housing Trust wait list for housing, i'm Catergory Two. Have been told i could be waiting 20 years. The wait list is huge, even people in Catergory One have to wait three-four years. So little Public Housing stock left here, most has been sold off. Replacements are not being built.

I don't know about the "neighbourhood centre" - is this a NSW thing?

i hadn't taken Child Support into account Brigsy, bilby's father already pays around $85 per fortnight (last time i saw) for his other daughter, who lives with her mum. So many single parents talk about nonpayment of CS, i guess i was not counting on getting it. ANd bilby's dad has a big habit of getting years behind with his tax, so the annual child rebate thing, it's always late, due to his late tax returns - i mean YEARS late.

i am counting on the Housing Trust for any bond i will need.

i am terrified about how i will even compete in the private housing market. It is so competitive, often you have to pass a points system with a RE agency, before you get told if you are allowed to even view a prospective property. They prefer two working adults.

The community workers i have spoken to so far, say things like "who do you know who will help you move"? not, "there is help you can get for moving costs". i have no-one to help me with moving. Even the prospect of packing up, dividing up stuff, terrifies me right now. So many decisions to make, it really feels overwhelming.

i'm scared about ripping bilby out of her familiar activities e.g her childcare where she is really settled, she's just started a dance class that she loves. I want SOMETHING to stay familiar for her, it's bad enough to take her somewhere else to live, wihtout her daddy being there (she will freak). It will be such a shock for her. All she has ever known, is mummy sleeps in the bed, daddy sleeps on the sofa. so that's her normal. She has never lived with a mum and dad who love each other, who hug, sleep in same bed, kiss etc.

budget wise
i currently pay a set amount per fortnight for electricity, as agreed with electricity supplier
i pay the childcare by direct debit
no cable tv, don't drink or smoke (unless i get given a bottle of something nice for a birthday pressie),
i think i have alot to learn about menu planning, am finding that hard to grasp. I get pretty stressed out with recipes in general, but can follow simple ones. I've had a ABI (acquired brain injury) and the amount of organisation, to get the menu planning happening, seems to be beyond what i can handle. But i love the idea of it. have printed out heaps of stuff on it from belly belly.

the computer i use belongs to bilby's dad, so i can't imagine me having a computer, once i move out. unless he says i can have it (he has his own plus a laptop). so that will be up to him.

i will miss my online community SO MUCH once me and bilby are out. Being able to chat online like this, is one things i've been able to do, that is low cost and available to me (so far). I'm not as sociable in real life, as i meet people, then feel embarrassed i can't keep up with them financially, so i let the friendships die - due to my embarrassment.

the community workers i have spoken to, regard my situation as DV, but i hesitate to label it that, cos i know there are people much worse off than me. i don't know, i am doubting myself about alot of things. i am so worn down by the constant worrying and feeling trapped in this situation.

the good thing is that i have passed the Centrelink "separated under the same roof" form - the one i should have put in three years ago - but have been so confounded by the long form etc - finally got some help to fill it out - so now, Housing Trust can no longer knock me back for bond help. Got to find somewhere to rent first, somewhere in teh magic 35% of my income - that is their rule for helping people.

so much "unknown". i have no idea how much longer we will be here - so i can't plan anything. i ahve no idea WHERE we will ened up living. i have her booked into a primary school for 2012 - have no idea if we will even be close enough to that school, for her to actually go there.

i would love to rent somewhere close to public transport, as it is, i buy minimum petrol and only go short distances - but people look at me like "you're being too fussy" when i mention the "i would love to live close to a bus route" thing. It's so hard to get housing here. Let alone when money is the issue.

i think the community workers have "things up their sleeve" - like helping me with a 2nd hand fridge or wardrobe (from charities) once i get out, but they are not coming up with info re the other things some of you mention - like weekly rental help, removalist costs, utility bonds.

so many things to organise when you move - i've never gone thru all of that with a child before - i'm not even yet in the place to do this stuff, and i'm already getting tension headaches. i'm terrified on moving by myself and having panic attacks. (as has happened every other time i've moved house). i get so over anxious, i can't eat, sleep, think straight. (and that has been in situations where i WASN"T leaving a relationship, or doing the move with a child).