bilby's father went into Centrelink this morning, to lodge paperwork for his new business - they told him he doens't have to - cos we're separated. So BANG goes the confidentiality CL promised me. Now he knows what i've done.

he rang me up immed and wanted to know "is there another man"?
it would never occur to him, that i don't want to be with him, despite the whole "four years of separate sleeping arrangements" thang.

he is going to be livid
i bet he will spend all night convincing me not to go (not to live with bilby will break his heart).

he is going to corner me with so many questions
i wanted to avoid all this, doing a flit when he was at work (when i have somewhere to go)

i am so dreading tonight

so much for squirrelling away money. now he knows, that won't be possible either.

i think this happening, will force my hand, i'll end up leaving with very little
the time for sorting, packing etc will be gone

i'm scared (not of physical violence, but of endless arguing with a person that hasn't been able to communicate with me for years, so what's the point now).

being in a tiny unit, with a person you don't want to live with, has been unpleasant enough (for last four years)
but
being in a tiny unit, with a person you don't want to live with, who KNOWS you are leaving, i dread what that is going to be like.

feeling sick just thinking about it.