I don't know what to do

[Shanti]

What about 'the quiet corner' where he goes when he's naughty? he can only come out when he's calm and in a good mood..... I know that's hard though esp in the mornings when you're trying to get him to school etc... just a suggestion? A room in the house thats really boring and he has to sit there for 5-10mins until he calms down.... kids hate that!

What about The Nanny? Can you get a copy of her book? Know anyone with it? I've watched the shows and i think she's got some great ideas for dealing with tantrums etc in kids....

I liked some of the suggestions that PurpleMamma offered.....

hang in there, you're doing a GREAT job. You'll get thru it.

[*Efjay*]

I have tired naughty mats, corner etc etc unless I physically held him there there is just no point.

I agree that pocket money for tasks that need to be done anyway is silly. Pocket money is DH's thing not mine. Other then the $5 which really is for co-operating they also get $1 for helping clean up, So if I am cleaning toys etc & they help then they get $1 to put in their money tin. I think this is more then enough.
He also gets canteen money & lunch orders ont hose days. I don't mind this as it helps me a little with one less thing to get ready but why should he get money to spend at canteen AND $5 on the weekends AND $1 if he picks up his toys? No wonder he has no idea of the value of money! He has it coming out of his ears!

$5 a weekend is $20 a month, $40 between the two of them. What on earth do 4 & 6 yr olds needs $20 a month for? Its not banked, its spending money when we go to the shop!

I think the pocket money really does need to be reassessed.

Yes, I think the smacking will stop. After his teaching coming up this afternoon & me thinking thats what she was going talk about, that was bad enough. I also worry that he will draw a picture in his diary at school titled "this is mum yelling at me" I would die!

Money wise, i think I will suggest to DH we open bank accounts for them. The $5 can be held till the end of the month & deposited. I don't mind $20 a month going into a bank account. Maybe we can make it a target account that can only be touched at the end of a goal amount. He can work towards a big ticket item at christmas time or something.

One of my biggest fears is having a child that turns into my brother. I watched my brother grow up & turn into a turd. Yes a bit of sibling hate in there but the bloke really is a nut case. But has both Mum & his dad wrapped around his finger. I don't want that to happen to me. But im not sure how to avoid & think I possibly on that path already.

[Phteven]

You could try contacting the Triple P people for advice.
There's nothing wrong in admitting that you're having a hard time coping and you need some support. Most people will respect that it takes strenght to admit that you're struggling and that you're willing to put your pride aside to get the best outcome for your child.

[Nadine]

Bathsheba- Yep totally agree with you that love and affection is important.

Oh and I forgot to say, but Bathsheba did:

The biggie (of all my suggestions, I know there are a few now LOL) is to Catch him being Good! And praise him

Good Luck. You will get there. Just stay strong and don't give up


Oh I just thought of another thing. Everytime he is naughty and/or doesn't listen (after 3 warnings) take a toy away. Start with his favourite one. He gets it back after being good for a certain time (rest of day or a couple of days, or whatever you decide on) if not then another toy gets taken etc etc. If he does get a toy back then give him the one that was last taken. Don't let him see where you stash the toys or he will help himself to them.

[*Efjay*]

Just looking at the Triple P site, I have never heard of them. They isn't anyone close to me. The closest is 40 minutes away in an area I don't really want to go.
I can't see if they have a hot line or something similar that I can call or maybe email for advise.

But I did just remember that the HAwkesbury Communtiy center has a parenting help line. I wonder what age the deal with. I think it may only be for babies. Not sure will have dig out one of the blue books.

I would love some help with his sleeping. I think that may be a big part of his behaviour. We have tried a few things there but the kid just wont go to sleep any earlier then 9.30 regardless.

hmmmm

[Phteven]

FJ, even if the parenting line is only for babies they will be able to refer you on to someone else.
Your GP is always a good first stop - they usually can help you find appropriate help and can refer you on for further assesment so you know what you're dealing with.

[Bathsheba]

Ok... tonight come hell or high water it's lights out for Evan at 8pm. Maybe invest in some talking books... we used to use them with our DD when she was that age.... could only be turned on if the lights were out... night-lite permitted.

What exactly does he do when you say it's bedtime?

[*Efjay*]

There isn't a hassel as such going to bed, its the going to sleep, he just lays there.
The bed time routine is this

8pm, Brush teeth get PJs on etc.
8.30 DH reads them a book in bed
Lights out & DH lays with them telling them a made up story then sneaks out when they are finally asleep.


The boys share a room & bed (their choice). Evan just can't fall asleep any earlier then 9.30 which is why bed time is at 8.30, no real point going in earlier. Plus our lives have made it so bed time happens around 8.30, earlier just wont work as DH often isn't home till 7/7.30 so it just makes it too hard to have them in bed earlier then 8.30