Oh the poor girl, if these things started so early how can Dr's put it down to her being a normal teenager?
I know she wouldn't speak to the therapist but are there any other tests they can do about behavioral functionality? Could it be something like ADHD or whatever it's called now?

I hope things sort themselves out for her, seems like she is also at her wits end and knows it's not always within her control...

Good luck i hope you and your family get the help you need for her.