i guess i am just after everyones honest thoughts and opinions, i am feeling very confused about things atm.

i always planned to be a full-time SAHM til Archie was settled into school, but due to PND being a SAHM is currently driving me mental. I have been feeling increasingly angry as the days go by this week and am taking it out on Archie by having very little patience for him and always telling him off instead of concentrating on praising him for the good things. a friend puts her son into Day care 3 hours a week for a bit of 'me' time to keep her sanity. inthe past i would have never agreed with this as a child should be at home with his/her mum if possible, however the lure of a few hours to myself sounds like magic atm, and i feel that Archie would love to spend time with other kids, him being an only child and all.

So i called up Family Day Care and they set a meeting up for me with a care provider who sounds really lovely, i meet with her next week. My husband and i both agree that it will be great for me to unwind.

However, now i am really having second thoughts. For 1 i know that 18 months is one of the worst times for separation anxiety and actually, i think thats why he is driving me insane cause he is SO clingy with me, and the thought of leaving him with a stranger.....i know for sure he would freak big time, i feel like i would be breaking his trust if i just left him with someone.

putting him into day care, while i have nothing against other parents doing it, just goes against all my parenting ideals, i have even enrolled him in kindy and school a year later than he is allowed to start (he is born in May) cause i want him to be fully ready and mature enough to go out into the big world without mum or dad by his side all day.

You know, i think i might be using PND as an excuse to be a lazy, snappy mum....i wasn't like this til i was actually formerly diagnosed...

Maybe i need to start taking him to Playgroups and other kids activities evey day of the week so we both get out and socialise and have fun together and enjoy each other

Well i think i may have answered my own questions, but please do offer your opinions, i you have been able to read this far