Just a vent really....

[Arimeh]

Marlene

DS still wakes up during the night - but hasn't woken up for a feed for a long time - he just wakes up.

We used to do the pat pat pat on the bum - god it took forever.. and I hated it - in the middle of winter pattin him on the butt with a big old pregnant belly - arghh.. drove me nuts.

The only explanation we came up with was that he was so restless in his cot that he hit the sides all the time - so he actually got better once we moved him to a toddler bed.

Now he wakes up - but he gets up himself and toddles into our bedroom and jumps in with us. Its much better cos I don't have to get up (its beginning to get cold again!!)

But he is much older than your DS. Sorry I don't have any advice, but I am a fellow waker-upper-er

[Snowy Love]

If my MIL said that (and thankfully she wouldn't - one thing we agree on is no CIO) and I was sleep deprived ('cause I'd have to be sleep deprived to be so bold), I'd tell her "yes he'll be spoilt - he'll grow up knowing his mother loves him." I'd at least think it as a comfort to me. Sorry, just got to get my b!tchiness out. You are doing a great job!

[Marlene]

If my MIL said that (and thankfully she wouldn't - one thing we agree on is no CIO) and I was sleep deprived ('cause I'd have to be sleep deprived to be so bold), I'd tell her "yes he'll be spoilt - he'll grow up knowing his mother loves him." I'd at least think it as a comfort to me. Sorry, just got to get my b!tchiness out. You are doing a great job!

Hahahah...not b!tchy at all...I did say it...to MIL and DH. They just say "well don't whinge when he doesn't sleep through then!" AAAAARRRRGGGGGHH!!!!!!!

[Liz]

They just say "well don't whinge when he doesn't sleep through then!" AAAAARRRRGGGGGHH!!!!!!!

I totally get this bit too LOL. My mum stopped offering her suggestions of formula feeds & leaving them to cry after I told her off. LOL. I told her I'm just having a whinge, I don't want any solutions!

I kinda feel the same if we end up going for a 3rd baby, that I'll be losing my right to have a whinge about my day with the kids.. coz I wanted the 3rd so I have to suck it up and deal with it. ugh.

Just come into BB to vent. At least here we get support for how we are trying to do things. And just live for the day where you are victorious with a fantastic sleeper, with no fear of the dark, who is comfortable & secure in the knowledge that his mum won't turn him away in the middle of the night on the rare occasions he needs you.

[thepixie]

Hi Marlene...
one of the gentle methods I have read in some books is to wake/ give a dreamfeed about half an hour before they usually wake up. If is wake ups are regular enough you could try that? Sounds crazy but some books say it works. Personally I have never tried it cause I'm too lazy! I know what you mean about MG... I love my MG dearly but they see nothing wrong with doing CC and it just doesn't sit right with me horses for courses I guess!

[Michelle71]

Marlene - this isn't going to help but DS still isn't sleeping through. Neither is DD but she is too little yet

You are doing a great job so vent away. Crying it out won't help (unless the crying is mummy ) but getting it off your chest makes it easier to go back and continue with the parenting choices you have made. A problem shared with this many is a very small problem indeed

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

I hear you! I don't agree with crying it out yet why, when I tell DS's nursery that he was up 1-4 for the last few nights so will be tired, does one woman insist he should cry it out? If he wants me he has to learn that I am there for him, I tell her. He's learnt that, she thinks. Now it's manipulation.

Show me a GROWN MAN who can manipulate a woman and I'll show you a toddler who can. I mean, he doesn't have the mental ability to realise I'm a seperate person who can be manipulated (beyond using the word "please" to get me to change my mind on occasion) let alone the ability to actually manipulate. And this woman works with DS! All I can say is at least she's not his key worker, who does actually realise DS's capabilities.

[boomba]

I know exactly how your feeling! I can totally sympathise. Sending you lots of gentle ways and energy to get your gorgeous boy to sleep

[Liz]

Marlene, you're doing things just fine. I know exactly what it's like. My two were frequent wakers (Kayla still is) and sometimes it is tiring, most of the time tho no-one would ever know I wake up to my toddler through the night.

Kayla still feeds through the night and I'm happy for her to have it. We're often too distracted through the day to feed, so we catch up with that closeness through the night Just keep putting a positive spin on it and it will get you through. Think of the lovely bonding, of how Jack knows you are there for him. My DS sleeps through beautifully without a fuss, and we never pressured him or left him crying or grizzling.

my mum had this problem with my sister..she would go in put the lights on low cuggle her and give her warm milk...then she realised thats prob y she keeps doing it what a life lol....then she decided that when she woke up she would put the light on bright pick her up not cuddle and give her water so suddenly it wasnt that great to wake up

Wow, that's quite sad IMO. It's such a short time that they need us through the night.. 1-2 years out of their entire lives isn't long at all.. I make the most of all the cuddles they need.

I guess it all depends on how you see your baby. Is he a manipulative little thing that has figured he can annoy his mummy anytime he wants.. or is he a tiny person that is dependent on his mummy and knows his mummy is there when he needs her. I lean towards the latter and am happy to keep meeting bub's needs, no matter how long it takes.. and it truly doesn't last forever. I love that my kids feel welcome in our bed any time they need it, and TBH I think if I had another baby and it slept through early on I'd feel like I was missing a LOT of bonding. As much as I would love the sleep LOL.

*big hugs* keep up the good work. You're doing your bub no harm. Marcellus said it beautifully "In the long run I think you're making life easier for yourself by investing in a closer relationship with your children."

[Marlene]

I guess it all depends on how you see your baby. Is he a manipulative little thing that has figured he can annoy his mummy anytime he wants.. or is he a tiny person that is dependent on his mummy and knows his mummy is there when he needs her.

This is exactly what i'm getting at! DH keeps saying that Jack is manipulating me, but I know he's not...he just needs his mum, and I WILL be there for him!!!

Thanks Liz.