No day sleeps??

[RobotPrincess]

My DS is 9 months old and will no longer sleep during the day. I'm lucky if I can get him down for 10-20 mins in 12 hours. He is a happy bub most of the time but disintegrates in the early afternoon (for obvious reasons). I've tried everything - he will no longer feed to sleep, wont sleep in the sling, or my arms, has always had sleepy music, baby massage, co sleeping.

This would be alright I guess if he slept at night but he doesnt. About every third night he does what we call a good night - goes to bed at 6pm, self settles until 9pm, has a feed and then wakes twice more to be fed during the night and wakes at 6am. BUT most nights he goes down at 6pm, wakes very 10-20 minutes until 9pm, feeds and then wakes every 1.5 to 2 hours and only booby will soothe him back to sleep, then wakes for the day between 5 - 5.30am.

Any suggestions?? The lack of personal / down time is driving me bonkers - I basically only get it when asleep. DH works long hours and travels a lot for work, so thats not an option.

[Astrid]

Hey RobotPrincess - I know it is hard to have a little one who is not the best at sleeping I just have a couple of suggestions/questions.

Will your DS sleep in the pram? If so then take him for a walk at some stage during the day when you think he is most likely to sleep, or you can even just push the pram back and forth in the house if he is happy with that. I know it can be painful to have to go out each day, but I would often try to time the walk with something I needed to do (go to the shop, mothers group etc). Or if you want some home time, just make sure you stick near home so you can quickly get home once he is asleep, wheel the pram in and have some you time. I would do "loops" around different areas in my suburb. As a bonus all the walking helped me lose weight. You may only need to do it for a short while, till you can get him to settle at home.

Are you breastfeeding? If so you may want to look at your diet. Some bubs are very sensitive to certain foods and food additives. My DD is sensitive to colour 160b, which is found in many cereals, yoghurts, icecreams and custards. So you may even want to look at what he is being fed solids wise. Made a huge difference to us to cut it our of our diet. Google Failsafe for some ideas on what could be a culprit.

Have you tried Brauers Calm. Some people find that it works wonders, others it helps a bit. For us it helps occasionally, so I keep it for the bad times.

[blue daisy]

Hey princess

Astrid has some great tips

remember sleep promotes sleep...perhaps lay down together for an arvo nap...or maybe try putting him to bed before he gets tired signs...

sometimes we miss the self settling signs...soft starring, relaxed face...may only last for a really short time, but its always there

we all go through times of change...maybe your little one is moving through a milestone, getting a tooth ...maybe ride the wave, stick on 'finding nemo' and lay down together to at least have quiet time

in regards to frequent waking at night...it sounds like he is relying on you to help soothe him back to sleep...some babies need to be taught how to put themselves back to sleep, and this can still be a gentle process

think about how you would like his sleep to be...and work back from there...it can be daunting, but a gentle, consistent approach will have both you and your beautiful little man getting more sleep

hope this helps...sending the sleep angel your way

xx yogababy

[Emma1979]

i know how you feel... my girl has never been a great sleeper, she is really inconsistent, she can have a fairly good week, then be woeful the next... from about four months i couldn't get her to sleep during the day, 45 minutes if i was lucky, and this would give me just enough time to shower, wash the bottles and grab some cereal..... the night wakings were sometimes hourly, three hourly on a good night... we got rid of the dummy and this seemed to help a great deal at night..... she has had some good day sleeps of an hour or two on some days, then other days nothing.... she is 6 months now and the worst thing is, she will no longer allow me to hold her and get her to sleep, or rock her, she refuses to lay down across my chest like she used to, that used to be my saving grace, if i was desperate i could always rock her to sleep and hold her and get some rest myself, now there is no hope of that...

i don't have any answers im sorry..... it is so hard, i just try to enjoy the good days and when its a bad day or week or month i just keep telling myself that it won't last forever... i think her reflux has a lot to do with it and i am biding time until she grows out of it... my MCHN has just given me the number of a day stay sleep school that DOES NOT let the babies cry and focuses more on reading babies signals etc... im going to give it a go it sounds interesting and even if i learn one thing that helps me then it will have been worth it.

keep doing your best and try to work out what it is that is preventing him from sleeping more soundly.... could he have reflux, wind, a food intolerance?? thing is, if he isnt sleeping during the day, then is sleeping so badly at night, the quality of sleep he is getting isn't the best.... if he was sleeping superbly at night then i guess it may have been a case of putting up with his daytime antics, but no good at night or day might signal something troubling him.

i can't wait for my girl to grow up, i know that sounds awful and i will miss her being a baby, but the reflux and vomiting and pain - i just think we will both be enjoying life a lot more when that subsides.

long post and slight hijack im sorry, just wanted u to know that u are not alone.

[RobotPrincess]

Thanks ladies.

Astrid - I used your idea of taking him out in the pram yesterday and got him to sleep for 40 mins. Problem is the moment we stop walking he wakes up, and I live in the Dandenong Ranges so very very hilly, so cant go round the block so to speak (lets just say I'm very sore today ). I'm already failsafe due to his reactions to breastmilk from a young age.

Emma - feel free to hijack I know how hard it is. It has certainly cured my DH and I of the urge to have any more children. Are you able to tell me of the day stay you MCHN recommended? Is it anywhere near Melbourne? I went to one when DS was 3 months old and it was an absolute disaster - they do controlled comforting which so didnt work for DS and his night sleeps got worse for a few months afterwards.

And yes DS does has reflux and has been on meds since 5 months, though diagnosed since 6 weeks. I'm sure it contributes to his sleep problems!!

[Emma1979]

i honestly think if it wasn't for the reflux my girl would be a MUCH MUCH better sleeper... yes she has a strong personality and can fight sleep til the cows come home, but to me it just doesn't make sense why some weeks she goes down without a peep, then others she is so upset and crying, then comes the vomiting... anyways.... i am resorting to trying to get her to sleep in her swing at the moment, and at night am putting her in her pram in an upright position and rocking it.... i know what u mean about curing you of the want for more children, on a good week i think 'i love this, i love being a mum, i want four children' and on a bad day/week i think 'i just can't do this anymore i'm not cut out for it'.... like last night... last night was a bad night. anyhoo, i will PM u the details on the day stay.

[Emma1979]

oooh i just tried to PM you but you don't have PM's, so should i just post here..... i will just post it here and hopefully that is okay...

hi there,
the day stay is in Kooweerup which is a fair drive from Melbourne I think, its about 60km.... so i guess it depends how desperate you are as to whether u are willing to drive there!!

my MCHN said from what she could gather it sounded like quite a comprehensive program and she was amazed it was free, i have a brochure and it says 'developing sensitivity to a child's cues/signals (effective communication), a wellness model of care based on a holistic approach, infant settling based on responsive settling techniques'.... and my MCHN assures me they don't leave bubs to cry.

im in two minds about going, as sometimes my girl goes down without a peep and is a fairly good sleeper, and other times like now she is woeful, but i put that down to her tummy or reflux, as to me its clear she is in pain or not feeling well, then she burps and brings up spew etc, so i can hardly blame her for not wanting to sleep... if that makes any sense... so it sort of feels funny to be going to a sleep program if it is her reflux that is keeping her up... anyways i think i will give it a go anyway as i guess i have nothing to lose...

do u think it is too far for u to go?? if u like u can wait to see what i think of it then make up your mind... just in case the number is 5997 9679 and u can self refer...

dont u just hate the reflux...?? i just keep waiting for her to outgrow it, then she seems to only get worse...

[RobotPrincess]

Hi Emma,

A friend of mine had great success at the Kooweerup day stay and her son still sleeps through now. They went when he was about 5 months old. She said it really helped her with his day sleeps and routine and he can go to sleep anywhere...literally!!

Unfortunately for me they use CC from 10 months, so by the time we could get in thats what they would apply to DS . I'm not interested in CC, so have to give it a miss.

Have you thought about medication for your bubs?? It made a HUGE difference to my son when he first went on it. His reflux is aggravated now by the fact that he is trying to crawl. The meds dont stop the vomitting but stop the pain associated with it. 3 nights after he went on it, he started sleeping in two blocks 9pm to 2am, 2am to 6am - which was fab Bummer it didnt stay that way though. Also not dressing him in two piece outfits helped enormously as well (as they pressed on his tummy). He spent the first 8 months or so in jumpsuits and overalls.

[krysalyss]

Hi RobotPrincess:- Gosh it is tough isn't it?
I was thinking that I would try to introduce some sleep associations (my DS uses a dummy and a 'blanky' - but you could also use music or aromatherapy). You could introduce them at night when your DS does sleep well and then after a few days transfer them to the day sleeps. And I would also try a short nap routine eg. change nappy, strip to singlet (if it is hot), tell them a story while they are in the cot, a short lullaby. I usually hang around quietly in the room and tidy up or put some clothes away or go in and out of the room. Just so he knows I am still about.
If you give them him that time to unwind then he may sleep better. (we then follow a no cry routine of rocking if he cries, put down in the cot when calm & sleepy but awake, repeat if necessary but that rarely happens. The reason we put him down awake is so he gets used to actually going to sleep in the cot and waking where he went to sleep)
HTH.

[Emma1979]

oooh robot princess you have just motivated me to give them a call.... i would love to get her into some sort of pattern and have better quality of sleep, so i guess i have nothing to lose.... oh i didnt realise it was only up to 10 months they don't use CC, i know what u mean about being interested in CC, it certainly hasn't worked for me and made me feel terrible.

the only reservation i have is my DD's inconsistency, like today for example, i just put her down and it appears she has gone to sleep, where as other days i can't get her down.... hopefully they will have some tips on her cues etc...

re: the meds, i did have her on zantac, but i've recently taken her to a homeopath and got a homeopathic remedy for her that is natural, and it does appear to be helping....