Just wanted to update since you were all trying so hard to come up with solutions for me.

Autie is now going to sleep, in her cot, on her own (though I stay in the room still at this point), no longer feeds to sleep, wakes once or maybe twice a night and will go back to sleep in minutes without having to get out of bed at all. AND sleeps more during the day!

I am getting real sleep for the first time in about 6 months - no more up and down 8 times a night! And I never once left her to cry on her own! That's what I'm most happy about. It may have taken a month or so to do it all gradually, but it passed in a flash once we had the first breakthrough. We are ALL much happier at our place! LOL