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Thread: Does anyone's DP fly in/out (work away)?

  1. #19

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    Thanks Deni,

    Sweden is home now and has been for the last 5 years. I moved here about 3 months after we met (he's Danish and bought a place here because pilots pay tax in the country they live, not where they work). Going to Australia is something we do twice a year to visit people and it really doesn't feel like 'going home' it feels like visiting my parents!



    I guess we work pretty well as I'm a very portable partner and am happy to move with his career, for now that means Scandinavia for the forseeable future but who knows where it could take us!

    We have great friends and when I first moved here I worked as a nanny for wealthy expat families and am now still friends with the mums. One of my old bosses I now consider one of my closest friends which is nice --and now when I look after her kids...I insist on NOT being payed!

    Oops, let's give the thread back to the topic!

  2. #20

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    HI Deni

    i hear what you're saying about the difficulty TTC when you have a partner that works away! My DH is a truck driver, and when we first got together, he was working long distance. somehow we managed to conceive twice while he was working away, but neither was planned (funny how things can happen when you go visit your husband in the middle of nowhere!). now that we've found that i don't ovulate properly and, when i do, i don't get the right hormone levels to sustain a pregnancy naturally, we're having to go through assisted conception, so he has taken a job locally to make sure he's here when needed. he still does a bit of "away" work, but not too often - mainly just when we need an extra injection of funds.

    which reminds me - FS said we'd possible be going through IUI this weekend, and he said something the other day about going to queensland at the end of the week - hmmmmm, better go find him and let him know!!

    good luck with it all

  3. #21

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    expat, I'm pretty sure I've been to Malmo.. is that where you take the ferry across to Copenhagen? I spent some time in Sweden in '99 visiting a friend who lives in Alumult. I would love to go back to sweden someday !
    Glad you have a great network !

    briggsy's girl - how great that your hubbie is able to work nearer to you now - I wish you on your IUI !!

  4. #22
    Fruitwood Guest

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    Hi, my hubby is in the RAAF and works away alot. There are times when he is deployed overseas for up to 6 months of the year. I find the loneliness really hard. At first I found coping with a baby on my own really difficult mainly because I didn't know what i was doing and I wasn't getting any sleep. It does get easier with time though the first 6 mths were torture for me. Now though I have my daughter in to a daily routine and with the help of a lovely daycare centre I am starting to cope just fine with hubby away all the time.

  5. #23
    babymuddle Guest

    Default me too

    my DH works away too. but here's how i think of it. he's not here during the week to upset my routine and i don't have to worry about runnning around getting him dinner, making his lunch, washing his clothes etc (why is as soon as they get married men lose the ability to fend for themselves), i get a whole bed to myself without his snoring and farting and instead of having him home one day a week where he has to do chores, play sport, socialise and then maybe find five minutes to spend with me. i get him home for a week at a time where he can do all he has to do and then do special things with me and we can afford to. And then bless his mere male heart at the end of the week when he has driven me insane he toddles back off to work

  6. #24

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    yes i can see some of those positives too !! Like, I always book in my 2-3 hour hair appointment on the weekends that DH ISN'T home (I haven't had my hair done for over 3 months and i'm hanging out til next weekend!). and the walks with my girlfriends. Then when he's homes we do things like picnics and outdoor movies.. very nice !
    Once I'm UTD i'll probably relax more about the fly in/out schedule. But it's making O prediction quite stressful !

  7. #25

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    hi deni. my DH is FIFO too... and was when we conceived our precious little girl last year... geez it was actually the year before! she is now five months old so in six months or so we will be trying for number two. we did not chart, or even look at when 'o' day was... we just let nature take it's course and it did! we were getting married that same year, and i said i don't mind being three months pg, but don't want to be six months pg. should have charted i think, as i was nearly seven months pg at our wedding.

    as far as having a newborn bub at home while your DH works away.... i actually find it easier when he is away! my bub is a very good sleeper though... but when she slept through the day i slept and got my head around motherhood. when DH is home, he wants to do things all the time... very unsettling for a newborn (he learnt this the hard way when she was so unsettled after having a busy day). i also find on his 8 days off, he is with us 24 hours a day... so he can get up to her, or he can feed her, or change bums, bath etc. if he was working here in perth, he would have left for work by the time she got up, and come home in time to maybe give her her last bottle of the night.

    ok, this got a bit long! feel free to contact me if you have any questions... you can always find me in the sept belly buddies thread

  8. #26

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    Thanks rikki! good to hear from you about how things went with the FIFO. I never thought about the unsettling routine business... when DH is in, we also tend to do quite a lot together (espeically on weekends as I still work fulltime). I guess we'll factor lots more down-time into the routine when the time comes! Congrats on your little girl - hope the second one for you TTC-wise is just as easy !

    ARGH the next 8 days are going to be torture! I'm 5dpo into the TWW and DH leaves for work tomorrow morning, then he's back next Tues when i'm 13dpo. As this is our first I dont want to test before he's home to share the news.. gunna be so hard resisting testing!!

  9. #27

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    i always thought i would love to tell my hubby in a 'special' way.... i never tested before, as i never suspected i was pg (which i hadn't been). i ended up speaking to him on the phone (he was on nights so it was an early morning call) then POAS and rang him back... had not even told him i suspected. when i rang back he was worried something was wrong, and i just said i think i know why i can't get over being tired from christmas. he was very happy....

    good on you if you have the patience to wait and test with him tho!

  10. #28

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    Hiya
    My DH works in mines and schools all over NQ, this is whenever wherever type of work so it is REAL hard to plan as he has no roster just has to go and do the jobs that his company gives him, which means in the 17 months TTC we have completely missed 4 months and most of them he has come home just before o or just after o which is not optimal BDing for conception. And when he does get home he may have driven 16 hours to get there so dont think the quality would be there. Then he is tired for 3 days!! . I dont mind him being away as if he does it for now (while he can as the money is good) then when we have kids I will be able to be an at home Mum so if he comes home on a wed I am at home and that can be our time, weekends wont be important to us until I return to work or the kids go to school then he can get a job in town. That is our plan but I need him around for us to get pg!!
    Good to chat to others in the same position, best luck to all

  11. #29

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    Blayz that sounds really tough, about not being about to predict your DH's roster. I hope you and your DH have some extra luck this year - after all I hear it's the year of the Golden Pig in chinese custom, extra lucky and your child would be extra blessed! Won't it be nice to be able to kick back and relax and enjoy being pregnant without worrying about the roster, once the timing works in your favour !!

    rikki, i thought your email initially read that you POAS while on the phone to your DH, haha that would have been funny!! he must have felt so stoked when you told him !

  12. #30

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    lol deni... not that bad! but it sure would have been funny. DH home for two weeks which is nice... too bad we're not TTC at the moment as we would have had a chance of him being home at the right time!

  13. #31

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    Hi everyone. This thread has shown me that there are such a lot of us who have crazy schedules!!
    I was a little bit mad last week as DH told me he is doing 4 days overtime in his 7 days off and then 2 night shifts in a row.
    Makes the TTC journey just that little bit more frustrating!
    Jo

  14. #32

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    kotare, I know what you mean... in the TTC journey I think we gals are so much more aware of the timing issue becuase we're watching our body signs etc for O, I know my DH doesnt think about things like roster changes affecting BD timing.. then I get an irritated feeling because I expect he should think about it.. but i guess female things are a "mystery" to most men and he wouldn't have a clue probably how much thought we put into these things.

    This cycle I *think* will be the right timing roster-wise for us, but he's agreed for his parents to stay with us (from another city) right at my O time, which annoyed me a bit, but I guess DH wasn't to know... and we hopefully will find creative ways around it.

    Sometimes I wonder, maybe if we don't have success with TTC by the end of this year DH and I maybe should look into a residential posting for awhile... might make things a bit easier !! Even if it is somewhere like china or something. DH will always work in mining, as he's a mining engineer so that's how he's trained... makes city-based options pretty limited.

    How are you other gals doing? Hope we get some BFP success stories among the roster challenges !!! Maybe then we can start up a FI/FO thread in the bellybuddies forums!

  15. #33

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    Hi everyone,
    thought i'd bump this thread back up.
    Everyone as been quiet for a while...are all the DH/DP's home at the moment and everyone is busy?
    Mine is on night shift. At least i get to see him for an hour in the afternoon - so we don't forget what each other looks like.

  16. #34

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    Hi kotare & thread buddies,

    we didn't have any luck this cycle, although timing was pretty much on the money. As soon as I got AF I looked up DH's roster predicting O ... I can't help myself, and I know it probably irritates DH. And I dont blame him really.. with BD time feeling rather scheduled.

    Roster *may* be OK for O this cycle, but bit hard to say.. .i've been a bit varied in the last 4 months, from CD13-16.

    DH is such an engineer the way he thinks about things - pretty cut and dry ! direct contrast to my "if this happens, then this happens, what if this happens, but if THAT happens , then .... " etc etc. He just says "things will happen eventually"... SIGH. Hope you gals are all well ! Hope we have some BFP news soon!

    kotare - shift work must be a challenge for both of you. You must feel like ships in the night ! how long til he switches again, or is this for an extended time?
    Last edited by deni; March 16th, 2007 at 05:45 PM.

  17. #35

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    Hi Deni,
    I've read your journal and hope that this might be your month
    After all this waiting and hoping, it no longer matters when DH works - I am on the pill now to start my first Down reg cycle. All things going well hormones-wise we can pick some eggies up for IVF by the end of April. I might even be one of those ladies who gets pg without DH actually being within 100kms. It would be even funnier if he was on the platform in the sea - i'd love to tell people that. Sometimes you have to see the funny side in a very tiring and emotional situation

    Keep up the journal Deni - hope that your cycle plays the game this month.

  18. #36

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    DH has applied for 3 jobs in the last 3 days ! He's still working but wants a change. Gawd, looks like we might be moving before 4 months is up. I guess that could be good - a change, new challenges, and a chance to live in a residential post. Also maybe a chance to catch that egg! But they're really in the back of beyond - Jabiru (Kakadu) and Kununnara (slightly bigger town in WA). Oh well I guess we'll see what happens!! I wouldn't mind a job change myself - tho i'm kidding myself, I dont really care where i live/work, I just wanna fall pregnant !!

    Jo, good on you for seeing the funny side about the IVF- I agree that WOULD Make an excellent story to tell the kids!

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