I don't have much advice for you except this one thing...

Children are the most rewarding thing in life, to feel the baby kicking inside you, to birthing him/her and watching him/her grow and discover new things - it's wonderful. I couldn't imagine my life without my kids. They bring laughter and happiness into my day.

Probably not the answer you were looking for, but like PP suggested maybe a little counceling would help you with the issues you're going through.

GL!