Hi everyone, this is my first post and I am feeling a little embarrassed.

Im hitting the wonderful age of 37yrs soon and have not had any babies as yet, my partner is almost popping his cork to have babies, he would be the most wonderful father.
I want kids, well I think I do, or maybe I just don't knot.
Ok to put it simply, I am Sh** Scared!
I have been reading up on Hypno babies and all stuff like that and I think I can do It but I just don't know?
I suffer anxiety and panic disorder and have done for many years so this will be a challenge on its own.

My questions are, HOW on earth do I loosen up and let things happen? I still wont let the partner go all the way because of the fear (fear of what?)
When I am pregnant I would get a doula as I am sure I would benefit from one.
How do you find a hospital that lets you water birth? I am in western Sydney.
What if I want to have the baby at home, do I have to be a private health patient, I am currently only on assistant by centrelink due to support pension.

Would be really nice if there was someone out there who could help me out as my mind is doing back flips with confussion here.
Thanks
S