Me and my DH feel exactly the same as you. I could have written that myself give or take a few different lines lol

We however are currently ttc. If we had good fertility I am sure we would not its just after taking years to conceive with my 3rd and basically not preventing for the past 2years and only one hint of a short lived pregnancy in that time we decided if it happens it is meant to be. Despite this most months when I am nearing the fertile time we don't know what to do. Its ridiculous.

For me I still have the feeling someone is missing. I don't know if that is because I have had multiple early losses or because I always thought I would have 4 children. There are a lot of reasons to stop now but I know in my heart if I don't give this my best shot I will regret it forever. I don't think for most people you regret having another child but you certainly will if you don't. I don't want to always have that feeling someone is missing and that my family is not complete.